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dear jim
breaking up is hard to do
by robert a. melos

I know it’s been a while, but I felt I just had to write this. You see Jim, I’m both proud and disappointed in you at the same time, and I’m afraid my disappointment is just outweighing my pride. It’s not like I was a wide-eyed altar boy and you were the handsome young parish priest. Hell, I’m not even Catholic. What the heck? The Church is sort of forgiving all that impropriety these days anyway; and you were only a married man having a sexual relationship, outside of your so-called sacred union, with another man.

Hey, I don’t even care that you were a married man living a lie. As a gay man myself, I fully understand the pressure of society to hide your homosexuality and the lengths to which homosexuals go to protect their secrets. No, your little dalliance with the former Israeli soldier turned poet is completely understandable. I’m just glad you finally had the courage, albeit in the face of alleged blackmail, to come out and accept yourself as you were born to be.

I sympathize with you and with your family at the trauma living a lie can cause, and the pain you are now going through. I’ve been there man and I know how you must be tearing yourself up over hurting your wife, and letting down all those people who cared for you. Well let me tell you, if those people who cared about you still care about you then they deserve to be in your life. If those people turn on you over a simple thing like coming out, you’re better off without them.

No, I’m very proud of you for coming out and accepting yourself. This isn’t the reason for my disappointment. Jim, you are using the gay card and exploiting your self-accepted sexuality to avoid facing the real truth behind your resignation. There, I’ve said it. You’re queer, and you’re here, and for that many homosexuals are thankful. What is not sitting well within the community is the fact that, by resigning, your actions are sending a negative message to the world. You know as well as I do, homosexuals are very capable of coming out and still doing the jobs to which they are appointed or elected.

Now don’t ignore me, Jim. I will not be ignored. Listen up. You are more than just a pretty face, and you know it. Granted you let ambition drive you to live a life of lies, and you let your sexual desires drive you to complicate those lies by falling for a hack poet. Just what the heck were you thinking when you put your boyfriend in a job with the office of Homeland Security? Come on, Jim. Other politicians have cheated on their wives, and given their mistresses positions in the secretarial pool. Sure you’re gay, and that makes this a more unique situation, but your boyfriend, who incidentally is claiming to be straight (can you say “in denial”?), wasn’t qualified for the job. New Jersey was in need of a new poet laureate, you schmuck.

Anyway, I’m just a little bit miffed at you for taking the opportunity to be a positive force in the gay community and using it to weasel out of the bigger problems facing your administration. Let’s face it, Jim. Homosexuality, on the scandal level, is pretty low and almost misses the radar. It’s things like misappropriation of funds, and bribery, and blackmail, and prostitution that have tainted your rising political star, and the fact that you are hiding behind the skirts of homosexuality frankly annoys me.

If you were a true man of leadership material you would not only have come out, but have denounced all the wrong doings of your political advisors and cabinet, and party, and took a stand for cleaning up the political system in the state of New Jersey. For God’s sake, your tenure as governor makes New Jersey look like Chicago in the roaring twenties. Roxie Hart or Velma Kelly, you ain’t.

These are the reasons I have to write this letter, Jim. I’m sorry to do this, but I have to preemptively end any potential relationship we might have should we ever meet. It’s now documented how you go for the younger literary types like me and I just want you to know, no matter how hot I find you physically, there could never be anything lasting between us. I could never be with a politician, let alone one who would use something as important or personal as his own sexuality to take focus off of real issues that should’ve been dealt with long ago.

I’m sorry Jim, but I need someone in my life that is out, open and honest in all aspects of his life. I know this news will hurt you, but I’m sure you will take it in stride. I just felt you should know in advance in case we happen to meet at some future juncture in our lives, that it’ll be a waste of time for you to ask me out for dinner and a romantic walk on the beach, or a weekend trip to Ireland on the taxpayer’s bill. That’s right, Jim. If you ask me out, I’ll turn you down. I mean it.

Now don’t get all depressed. There are plenty of other hot young literary types like myself out there just waiting for a handsome politician to offer them a job protecting the state from terrorism, and maybe an evening watching a chick flick and tongue wrestling on the couch, but not this boy. Nope, not even for an $110k a year job.

$100K? Damn, man. You really had it bad. Oh well, it’s over on November 15th. Of course I get the feeling you’re only stalling here, and by this time in the next year or two your star will be on the rise again. I still won’t date you then either, but if you’re really doing well I won’t rule out the chick flick and the tongue wrestling. Hey! A guy’s gotta get out once-in-a-while.


Robert is the author of the novels Cool Mint Blue, Melba Ridge, and the recently released The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad; and the creator of the on-line comix Impure Thoughts found at his web site Inside R.A. Melos, as well as having been an on-line staff writer for QBliss where he had a monthly humor column, Maybe A Yip, Maybe A Yap. In his non-writing time, when he's not studying the metaphysical or creating a tarot deck, he sells real estate in Middlesex County New Jersey, hangs out with his dog Zeus, and spends time at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park, NJ, where he is on the Board of Trustees.

more about robert a. melos


war and remembrance
that was then, this is now, what about me?
by robert a. melos
topic: humor
published: 3.19.03

40 and toast
the laments of a burnt out soul
by robert a. melos
topic: humor
published: 5.24.03


tracey kelley
8.30.04 @ 10:29p

the fact that you are hiding behind the skirts of homosexuality

That's something that doesn't happen everyday, now does it?

robert melos
8.30.04 @ 10:57p

Sometimes I think McGreevey really is a victim of his own sexuality, in the fact that he was so blind to a guy who was using him.

Men being used by a sexual partner for advancement of finances or position is nothing new. At times I think Jim falls into that "Smart Men, Bad Choices" category. This is what happens when men think with their little head.

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