In September 1999, Intrepid burst onto the scene as the one to beat. With its simplistic approach, graceful styling, and hot design, it began to dominate the competition.
At least that is what the makers of the Dodge Intrepid would have us believe about their car.
About the same time the Dodge manufacturers were kicking tires and hoping for a decent car buying season, Joe and his many personalities known simply as "staff" were launching Intrepid Media. Why name a writer's site after a car? What does Intrepid mean? Why did Marilyn die so young? Most of these questions can be answered by taking a closer look at a direct comparison of the two products. Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.
|Dodge Intrepid||Intrepid Media|
|Dodge Intrepid’s cab-forward design has helped the manufacturers do well in its short lifetime.||Joe and his “staff”, while not knowing what cab-forward design means, have pinky-sweared that IM’s design will always be way out groovy.|
|Featured Highlights include: Power train, chrome door nameplates, Theft-Deterrent System, New Intrepid ES Seat Fabric, New Optional Leather Seat Material, and New Exterior Color: Light Cypress Green||Featured functionality include: mystudio, what this is, the help, swim with sharks, 10ft poll, FAQhead, the box, and a free lazy boy recliner for the first person to call 1-900-intrepidmedia.com!!! Call now!|
|Market Position: The 1999 Dodge Intrepid offers sleek, muscular styling and an exhilarating driving experience without compromising comfortable seating for five or six.||Market Position: Intrepid Media is smart, funny, yours, and changing the world one column at a time. With beautiful body and bounce, Joe’s hair comes to you at no extra charge. |
|Advantages: Two all-aluminum engines - a 200 horsepower, 2.7-liter, dual overhead camshaft, 24-valve V-6 engine in the base Intrepid, and a 225 horsepower, 3.2-liter, 24-valve V-6 in the Intrepid ES - deliver more power than their predecessors while increasing fuel efficiency.||Advantages: Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun will not be found on this site. However, Intrepid Media offers more power than its competitors by increasing the free economy with no ordinary cam shaft, but a cam shaft with more liter power per valve, or something like that.|
|More advantages: A cockpit-style interior with best-in-class volume and performance transaxle (on Intrepid ES) reinforces the Dodge image of sporty, performance-oriented vehicles||More advantages: Intrepid Media will not use the word cockpit in a sentence without laughing. This reinforces our cam shaft liter power thingy per whatever, and is standard on all models.|
|Testimonial: “I purchased my 1999 Dodge Intrepid because I was so used to renting them on business trips.” –Henry Jackson||Testimonial: “Um, where can I find info on the Dodge Intrepid? My search engine only brings up this damn site.” – Anonymous|
|Testimonial: “With all the traveling my wife does with our two kids, I wanted a car she could drive and feel safe while driving.” –Cynthia Harding||Testimonial: “Intrepid Media changed my life. I now read every other online mag instead of your Intrepid &*!$%.” – Joe’s Mom|
|Body Style: Four-wheel sedan||Body style: Flush left, rarely centered.|
|Assembly Plant: Bramalea, Ontario, Canada||Assembly Plant: Joe’s house and the sometimes fictitious office written about in every anniversary issue.|
|Introduction date: 1998 ||Introduction date: 1999, the year of our lord|
|Displacement: 197.2 cu. in. (3231 cc)||Displacement: Jael gets this way when we miss a deadline.|
|Bore and Stroke: 3.62 x 3.19 (92 x 81 mm)||Bore and Stroke: Unclear about bore, but the stroke is slow and easy at first, then fast and furious towards the end of typing an article.|
|Seating Capacity: 2/3 - std., 3/3 - w/opt.||Seating Capacity: Enough for a handful of unpaid writers, a keg, and a twister mat.|
|Hip room: 56.1 (1426)||Hip Room: Intrepid Media invented the hip the folks at Dodge now measure, so there.|
|Glove Compartment: Locking||Glove Compartment: If we had one, I’m sure it would have a handgun and mace nestled between a Gideon bible and a box of condoms.|
So, as you can see, both the Dodge Intrepid and Intrepid Media are in a continuous and often vicious circle of which is the better vehicle. Dodge touts its roomy interior, but Intrepid Media tells us they are clearly the more fearless choice. Regardless, the namesakes are bound to an existence of co-habitation on the superhighway of life where pulling to the side of the road means you're either out of gas or it's time to beat the kids.
Gitchy-gitchy-goo, little fella, and happy anniversary, Intrepids.
Curious about everything, Michael plans to do it all. A ruffian by day and a lover by night he's managed to go where no one else has gone. His slight forgetfulness means he is curious about everything and plans to do it all. A ruffian by day and a lover by night he's managed...
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9.21.00 @ 8:14p
We have a Twister mat? How come I'm always the last to know things around here?
9.21.00 @ 8:22p
Wait a minute, is it just me, or is anyone else surprised that Joe named this site after a car? If that IS true, then why didn't he name the column "InfinitiMedia" or "GalantMedia" or even the ever-snazzy "WranglerMedia" (yee-ha). Anyway, thanks Michael for pointing this out. I thought Joe had used the word "Intrepid" to slyly hint that he himself is intrepid... you know, sneaky, clever, and multi-personalitied. You know, the kind of guy who probably drives a '73 Ford Granada.
9.21.00 @ 8:36p
A '73 Granada? Ha! What a loser.
Everybody knows that the '76 Granada (mine was baby poop brown) was the good model. Vinyl seats rock, man.
Except in the summertime. Ouch.
9.22.00 @ 9:34a
a) The site and car are unrelated, for any who thought that was a possibility. I can speak for Joe because, as previously covered in other discussions, he lives in a special place inside my brain.
b) If it were, these would have been at the front of the line: Aztek Media, Civic Media, Miata Media, Talon Media, and of course, Beetle Media.
c) I'd always wondered why we stored that spare "cam shaft liter power thingy" in the utility closet. Now I know.