Features
9.24.18: a rebel alliance of quality content
our facebook page our twitter page intrepid media feature page rss feed
FEATURES  :  GALLERYhover for drop down menu  :  STUDIOhover for drop down menu  :  ABOUThover for drop down menu sign in

hi, i'm brad pitt
fifteen minutes of shame
by joe procopio (@jproco)
2.7.00
pop culture

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes you work for an entire month on a column intended to give your readers some fearless tips and advice on making it big in the creative world. You think-tank until you have a solid premise, you draw on your years of experience and command of the topic to get yourself an outline worthy of fleshing out. You check your facts, you check your grammar, you bounce some of your main points off your contemporaries for a bit of feedback. You do all this, and then you see where some joker got his picture in the paper because he thinks he looks like Brad Pitt.

No, for real. My local paper thought this little expose was fit to print. They went and found a dozen locals who look nothing like various celebrities, interviewed them, and put them on the cover of the leisure section. This chump, let's call him Timmy, signed up to be Brad.



First of all: Timmy, what were you thinking? Maybe with a haircut on a good day in the right light. Maybe if you were standing next to a poster of Brad Pitt and you were wearing a T-shirt that said "Hey! I look like Brad Pitt." Even with all that, even if you looked exactly like Brad Pitt, there's still a question to be asked. What the hell made you think that thousands of people wouldn't look at this and giggle themselves silly?

I wasn't really sure of which direction to take this. I could have either gone with the fifteen minutes of fame thing or simply decried the degradation of journalistic standards. Since Adam is the journalism guy (I mean, he's spending all that money on a fancy-shmancy degree), and since very few famous people read intrepid yet, I decided to do both.

Poorly.

And crack a few jokes along the way.

Can't we at least save Springer for Springer? Does this sort of human-cannonball, look-into-the-dark-cavity-of-my-life shtick have to make its way into more credible means of information distribution? Does the most popular media event in America have to be a game show? Did The Running Man teach us nothing? Have we been so numbed by an onslaught of personal-despair-as-entertainment that we're willing to accept notoriety as a condition of resemblance?

Apparently so.

Ask Leonardo DiCaprio.



At least he has the haircut right.

I can't blame these people. I really... really can't. Especially when I read that Timmy says, on looking like Brad Pitt, his evidence is "Women tell me it all the time..." Come on.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN, STOP DIGGING!

No, in this case, I lay the blame squarely on the supervising authority. Shouldn't the writer of this article soak herself in shame?

(Note: In the previous sentence, I just barely refrained from wrapping the word "writer" in quotes. What stopped me is the fact that employing such a tactic is one of my pet peeves in writing. It stems from an article I read years ago by a member of the KKK about the "values" and "morals" of Sesame Street and how such "caring" and "educated" individuals were actually destroying humanity. Every third word of that crapfest was in quotes. So there, at least now I have one on-topic issue for this month. Don't arbitrarily put things in quotes to match your opinion. It's snotty.)

Shouldn't there be an editor here saying things like, "You know, this just has no merit whatsoever," or "Damn, we're really setting these yokels up for a laugh"? Are we really so infatuated with celebrity that we'll allow ourselves to be manipulated in the most whorish manner, emphatically stating that we're proud to be mistaken for someone else?

I mean, for all I know, DiCaprio could be a real bastard.

Timmy, on the other hand, is probably a very nice guy.


ABOUT JOE PROCOPIO

Joe Procopio trades in pop culture and tech culture, allowing him to poke fun at so many things. He's written for a number of online and offline publications from the late, lamented Smug to the fancy-pants Chicago Tribune and also for television. He's a novelist, a shredder, a joker, and a family man. Scoff at joeprocopio.com or follow on Twitter @jproco.

more about joe procopio

IF YOU LIKED THIS COLUMN...

for the greater good™
my list of demands
by joe procopio
topic: pop culture
published: 4.1.01


i won a grammy!
duet with eminem to follow
by joe procopio
topic: pop culture
published: 3.1.01





COMMENTS

mike julianelle
11.29.01 @ 4:42p

Yes, I'm really commenting on this ancient column.

The so-called Leo look-alike looks more like Joey "Whoa!" Lawrence's younger brother.

And the Brad Pitt look-alike looks like a sewer rat.



Intrepid Media is built by Intrepid Company and runs on Dash