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the reinvention of everything
oh, we back on that again?
by mike julianelle
pop culture

Avatar is the number one grossing movie of all time (before you adjust for inflation. When you do that, it’s like number 312). As a result, nearly every potential blockbuster is being reformatted to fit 3D theaters. Prepare for an onslaught, from Clash of the Titans to Harry Potter And the Fact That Our Stars Are Now All 25 and Weird Looking (the Hot Girl Obviously Being the Exception) to Sex and the City 3D: Shoving Samantha’s Sexuality Even Further In Your Face!

How hard is it to switch a non-3D movie to a 3D one? Probably not all that easy, and surely even less effective. Avatar doesn't work because the 3D is half-assed, it worked because people love Giovanni Ribisi and there hasn't been enough angry hissing in movies since Batman Returns. Also, Cameron worked for 20 years creating new technology specifically for the movie, to ensure that audiences had seen nothing like it before. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure the guy who’s remaking Clash of the Titans hasn't even spent three weeks thinking about his movie, so sure, slap some ill-fitting 3D on there. It’s all good. Cha-ching! Damn the gods, indeed.

Look, there's no need for me to rehash the Law of Diminishing Returns; we’ve all seen The Matrix Trilogy. Sure, give me six months and I’ll join the chorus bemoaning the swarm 3D turds flying off movie screens, but that's a ways off. Today I want to talk about what James Cameron’s reinvention, and resurrection, of 3D made me realize.

2010 is actually the year of the reinvention.

Here are some examples:

• As I mentioned above, 3D has been reinvented into a newly exciting, vibrant way to experience a film, and as a commercially viable style. Over the next 18 months the number of 3D movies is going to explode. Hooray?

• MySpace is reinventing itself in an attempt to stave off obsolesence. Hopefully away from being so migraine-inducingly hideous. Good luck with that.

• "Mad Men"'s finale featured the main stakeholders in Sterling Cooper reinventing themselves into a new boutique agency, even as the world is being reinvented around them in the mid 1960s.

• Heidi Montag has reinvented her face through plastic surgery.

• "Lost" started its final season on Tuesday, promising a reinvention of its characters, its timeline and its entire narrative. The promise was half true.

• Sigourney Weaver is reinventing herself as the new Kathleen Turner -- in her "Chandler’s Dad" phase, not her Body Heat phase.

• ObamAmerica has reinvented our nation, away from aggression and inarticulateness and financial disaster and a general decline in international reputation!

• Fine, that happened in 2009. And started in 2008. And is still very much a work in progress. And might not actually even be happening.

• Shut up.

• Michael Jackson has been reinvented from super-talented super-perv to just plain super-talented. Wait, that was 2009 too? But there was just a huge tribute to him at the Grammys! Fine. See previous bullet.

• The Jacko tribute thing was in 3D!


• The "A-Team" movie.

• This Spring, Fox will air some idiotic new show about past lives. Reincarnation, reinvention. Close enough.

• When was that new “Battlestar Galactica” show everyone loved? Let's throw that in.

• I've lost weight.



Let's get real here. You don't want to know about me. You want to know about "me".

more about mike julianelle


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russ carr
2.5.10 @ 12:21a

Ripley's looking more like Bishop these days.

robert melos
2.6.10 @ 8:08p

Clash of the Titans only works for me with Harry Hamlin. Now Hamlin in 3-D....Anyway, don't we all go through reinvention in our lives? More to the point, isn't reinvention, change, what keeps the world going?

Most of what is out there, in film, books, all forms of entertainment, just a reinvention or remake of whatever came before. In some ways it's flattering to the original creator of the material that so many versions of original story exist. I'll bet Shakespeare would be pretty happy with at least half the versions of Midsummer's Night. As for the other half, he'd be contacting his lawyers.

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