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chick magnet lessons for sale!
ignore the small print...
by steven truman willcox
12.22.10
general

On any given day, well mostly nights if you know what I mean, I lay exhausted, sweat drenched, against another angelic female form. I believe I cast a magnetic pulsations that attracts the weak. Vanity... maybe. Would it help if I said I'm crying on the inside?

I have no idea why this sexual bombardment happens every time I step into the social spotlight. Yes, I smile and flash my bedroom eyes, but is that a sin? I can't help the fact that their boyfriends are overweight from too many double dips in the onion spread and consume drunken man fuel on an hourly basis.

I'm mostly never willing to go all the way. It's just the game I play. Sometimes I'm so ashamed. There has got to be a better way. No more expensive duds, bling, and man waxing! The battle between conscious and gland stimulation is in full force - or swing.

How dare these lovely ladies pursue me! If they are in a committed relationship - tisk tisk.

I must sound like a diva. I must sound metro. But this is a true reality I suffer.

So the last several times I have trotted around town trying believably hard not to paint it too red I've downgraded. I have uninstalled part of my alluring processes. I'm only mentally doubling clicking Charm 1.0. I would love to run the full suite or man products I have been pre-installed with but the unintentional consequences aren't worth the reboot.

No more broken homes - apartments - relationships or however they define their hidden significant other.

When I first wake up this is the first thing I think about. I'm a 2 year old inside.

But hell yeah it feels good!

Underneath the soul rot I'm growing up. I swear. No more guilt. I've picked the side I support. I have made up my mind! The change is done.

I'm now a lesbian.






ABOUT STEVEN TRUMAN WILLCOX

Steven hails from the mountains of Black Mountain, Kentucky. He is an amateur bird enthusiast and has a large collection of hand towels. His love for comedy came from his mother's side of the family where Tuesdays were 'bring a funny friend to dinner night.' A quote from Steven: "I remember those fun Tuesday night dinners with friends. they were funny. sometimes my friends didn't understand though." After graduating from home schooling, Frank took to the stage and has never looked back.

more about steven truman willcox




COMMENTS

steven willcox
12.30.10 @ 8:19p

This is probably one of the best things written...

steven willcox
1.16.11 @ 6:39p

I'm 1/2 Asian too...



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