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it's complicated
by dirk cotton

A lady on FB, whom I don't know, asked if a quark is something important in space and mentioned that she might like to be a quark if she could.

Jeannine, I've got great news for you. You ARE a quark! Gazillions of them, in fact. Quarks are elementary particles of mass. They make up protons and neutrons, so you don't have to go into space to find them. You ARE them!

And quarks are unbelievably quirky. They are never directly observed or found in isolation. And they have "flavors" — up, down, strange, charm, bottom, and top.

Unfortunately, quirks aren't mass, so they can't be quark-y, which would really be cool. Like ex. My daughter and I were talking about her calculus homework the other day and I said, "How cool is it that the integral of ex is ex and so is the derivative?"

"I know, right?" she exclaimed with a twinkle in her eye.

I apologize, I become unnaturally excited about math and science, which I suppose makes me a dork. (Auto-correct reminds me of that constantly.)

Quirks, quarks, Dirks, dorks — it's a complex world, but at least it rhymes.


Dirk Cotton is a retired executive of a Fortune 500 Internet company who loves to spend time with his family, fly fish, shoot sporting clays, attend college baseball games, sail, follow the Wildcats, and write. Everything else he does is just for fun. A computer programmer-cum-marketing executive-cum-financial planner who now wants to be a writer, he apparently can't decide what he wants to be when he grows up. He and his family moved to The Southern Part of Heaven in 2005 and couldn't be happier with that decision.

more about dirk cotton


it’s hard to find a bad biscuit
by dirk cotton
topic: humor
published: 1.20.12

ten reasons to ignore lists
counting the flaws of this favorite format
by dirk cotton
topic: humor
published: 10.7.09


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