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FEATURED COLUMNS

stop blaming bush
let's talk about the real problem
by joe procopio (@jproco)
topic: sports
10.1.10 • CLASSIC

What I did to you just now was wrong, and I admit that. And even though I usually can't stand this excuse, it wasn't my fault. Blame it on the system. If I have to bend the rules and use subterfuge to get ahead in this sea of Internet noise, then so be it, because everyone else is doing it. Sure, I can be expected to operate at a huge disadvantage under rules that no one else is following and ultimately put everything I've got out there for the satisfaction of everyone except me. I can do tha

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publishing and the princess bride
what aspiring authors can learn from florin
by jael mchenry (@JaelMcHenry)
topic: writing
12.6.10 • CLASSIC

William Goldman famously said "Nobody knows anything." He was talking about Hollywood, but it applies to book publishing nearly as well -- no one knows which books are going to be a hit, no one knows what type of marketing dollars pay off, and no one knows exactly where the industry is headed in a rapidly changing landscape. That's not comforting, of course. Flinging yourself willy-nilly into the process of getting published, throwing up your hands and crying "William Goldman said nob

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reality could bite more
midseason replacements yet to come
by adam kraemer (@DryWryBred)
topic: television
12.10.07 • CLASSIC

As you all may know, I value truth and justice above all things. As you all may not know, I sometimes say things like that without meaning them. However, I have important news to impart. News of such significance that it might very well rock the foundations of all we consider to be true. Or it might be satire. Regardless, the facts are these (or are they?): At great risk to myself and the intrepid (no relation) team of spies I employ, I have been able to unearth a list of the top contenders for

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tv wrongs and rights
a spring roundup of dolls, teens, and love gods
by michelle von euw
topic: pop culture
4.8.09 • CLASSIC

After watching yet another lackluster episode of “Dollhouse,” a show I've stuck with only because of banked goodwill by Joss Whedon, Eliza Dushku, and anyone even tangentially involved with “Battlestar Galactica” (in this case, Tahmoh Penikett), I suddenly realized why it is destined to fail. We don’t like our dramatic main characters stupid. Sidekicks can be silly. Comedic leads can be goofy, or oblivious, or clueless. Love interests can be vapid, and there’s always the airhead blonde ste

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what i say i am
this brand is my brand
by mike julianelle
topic: pop culture
3.6.09 • CLASSIC

I recently jumped into the Twitter fray and immediately began asking a friend what the hell I’m supposed to do. As far as I can tell it's mostly for bored Congressmen, foolish reporters and Rainn Wilson. I am none of those things. But my friend tells me that it is for me. Well, not me, exactly, but for "Mike Julianelle". My brand. Am I a brand? Not exactly. Like just about everyone else that hasn't starred on a reality show, I am far too complicated to be distilled into a “collection of symbols

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deathtalker
cassie and marlo listen in: part 2
by tracey l. kelley (@TraceyLKelley)
topic: writing
4.27.09 • CLASSIC

“The old guy in the black leather jacket smelled of stale pot. The leather was cured with it.” “What does stale pot smell like?” “Like wet, musty leaves in back of your grandfather’s closet.” “I might find that comforting.” “Not so much when you sit next to it for six hours in row 34 of a plane.” “No way! After the pantless Frenchmen, you rode home with the old man?” “Yes.” “Did he leave his sunglasses on the whole time?” “Yes.” “And the jacket?” “His costuming was exactly the same.” “Did he

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san francisco
a film festival in 7 haiku poems
by jason gilmore (@JasonGilmore77)
topic: film
6.20.07 • CLASSIC

1. A summer of love Summer has been gone for years Dad died one summer 2. Posters printed up Credit debt flows like oceans Do I look nervous? 3. Soaring with the birds Trenekia and Tabitha San Jose is green 4. Film before ours safe Want it to end yet really don't What if they boo me? 5. Crowd is warm and smart They chuckle and understand Still I find things wrong 6. Writer smiles now Director wants two more takes Producer loves both 7. Dinner with old friends Spicy Thai food leaves full gu

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smarter than the average workout
a lazy man's journey into yoga
by jeffrey d. walker
topic: general
7.13.11 • CLASSIC

“Fit” can mean different things. It could mean (1) that someone is having a tantrum, (2) because their clothing is not the right size, and also because (3) their Honda vehicle is too small. “Fit” can also mean that someone is not overweight - and this fit, I am, without gyms, workouts, running, sports, or anything really. But “fit” also is short for physical fitness. And this “fit,” I probably am not. What with no gyms, workouts, running, sports, or anything. I mean, working out sucks. I l

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you and your heart
lessons to learn in love
by maigen thomas (@Maigen)
topic: pop culture
10.22.10 • CLASSIC

“This is how it works. You’re young until you’re not. You love until you don’t. You try until you can’t. You laugh until you cry. You cry until you laugh. And everyone must breathe until their dying breath.” --Regina Spektor “Women love Jack Johnson’s music.” I didn’t say it, but a guy I know did, and when I took a moment to reflect that it shouldn’t hurt my feelings to be lumped in with other women (there are SOME cool women out there I don’t mind being lumped in with, but we all k

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the extra notch on the cheating curve
factoring weiner's impact on fidelity
by alex b (@Lexistential)
topic: news
6.20.11 • CLASSIC

These days, everyone knows Anthony Weiner's name. Thanks to Twitter, Andrew Breitbart, and Opie & Anthony, any news-savvy person has their very own two-cent penile crack to make about the newly resigned Congressman. Is he hard-pressed for answers? Maybe he's not meant to last more than his near-twenty years in political life, and can try again in half an hour. Everyone's had a laugh at Weiner's expense, even as the jokes are wearing thinner than luxury brand lambskin condoms. Everyone except

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loving
a part of our speech
by sarah ficke (@DameMystery)
topic: news
4.16.12 • CLASSIC

Loving: Noun
Loving begins as a noun, but not just any noun. Loving is a personal noun; it is something we experience only through the prism of ourselves. We can’t point to the source of love, diagram its location, or dissect it from our body, and yet it is there. Loving is also a noun in the stricter sense: Richard Loving, a white man born in Caroline County, Virginia, in 1933.

Loving: Verb
Loving may begin as a noun, but we know it best as a verb. We recognize love only because we see it in action: caring, sharing, laughing, kissing, touching, soothing, healing, helping, grieving. These actions can shape our lives, yet we can’t trace them to a source. Love – of nature, of creatures, of music – is a mystery in the abstract, but vibrant in reality. Something happens in your spirit, your physical heart might thump, your nerves might jitter, and suddenly that potential for love comes out into the open. That kind of spark caught Richard Loving (noun: white) and Mildred Jeter (noun: black) and whirled them into action. They were loving each other, and – as it always does – that love was shaping their lives.

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the return to small town america
back to the past
by erik lars myers (@TopFermented)
topic: pop culture
1.21.09 • CLASSIC

For a while, I was really glad that gas was up to $4.00/gallon this past summer. I was really excited at the forecast that we might see a $7.00 gallon of gas this coming summer, though that looks more unlikely now. This might make me look, up front, like a bad consumer. Or maybe an OPEC sympathizer. Or maybe I hate dinosaurs. In reality, I have an over-developed sense of loyalty to local economy. Let me explain. In my mind, here's what a $7.00 gallon of gas does: It heralds the return o

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constant craving
*the secret* to success
by heather m. millen
topic: humor
8.27.08 • CLASSIC

The other day I was sitting at my desk. It was about 4:00 in the afternoon, the day had been a bit stressful and I was greatly in need of a tiny token of relief. Suddenly, I realized that all my soul craved was a cookie. I don't eat cookies very often but who am I to judge what my soul desires? My husband happened to call and I said aloud and with conviction: "I really want a cookie." Ask. Cookies are good. I used to make cookies with my grandmother. She made these amazing little thumbp

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future tenz
the sexier decade ahead
by jeff miller (@jmillerboston)
topic: pop culture
1.6.10 • CLASSIC

In The Tenz, we fly in hovercars fueled by laughter and rock n' roll. We've adopted a single global language, which is a hybrid of all known languages with a sprinkle of jazz theory. Consequently we're all getting along much better, and everybody can dance. Moral and religious disputes have gone the way of Disco, praise Gawd. World peace sets the stage for tolerance, innovation, and a new cultural renaissance. Creativity and intelligence are valued over celebrity and convenience. Our elected le

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RECENT COMMENTS

re: irrussistible
I am not going to read it this time. I do and I just cannot pull myself together to comment. It is a beautiful tribute. I am very glad that you wro...

re: guns don't kill people....
Can we please find a way to heal and protect? I NEWTOWN, Conn. (AP) — A man opened fire Friday inside two classrooms at the Connecticut elementary sc...

re: a year without netflix
I would expect that and especially Netflix. Marketing, baby. They're spending zillions to get new subscribers....

re: everybody poops
What a bunch of crap! :-D Sorry. I tried to let it pass. Butt I'm weak. [edited]...

re: you are on your own heroes journey
Too short. Sigh. Thanks Maigen. I just miss him. I am glad that I can find people who cared deeply for him here. He had such good friends here!...





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