FEATURES  :  GALLERYhover for drop down menu  :  STUDIOhover for drop down menu  :  ABOUThover for drop down menu sign in

Let's get real here. You don't want to know about me. You want to know about "me".

angry young man
member since 3.21.01
brooklyn, ny  usa
dob: 9.9.76


the worry-free guide to impending fatherhood
just relax a little, asshole
1.6.12 : feature!

It was almost exactly two years ago when I discovered I was going to be a father. My level of ignorance on the topic had me pretty nervous, but the nerves are natural. And kind of pointless. Because what I’ve learned after my first full year as a dad is that the key to being a good father is simply this: don't be an asshole.

Seriously. If you're already not an asshole, you can skip the rest of this (long) column because that's all there is to it. Congratulations! Go forth and multiply.

However, I was an asshole. And I didn't have much guidance when I became a dad. So I offer the following nine-item list (one for each month of pregnancy!) to all the assholes like me who need advice on getting through the nine or so months preceding the birth of the person who will most likely be your end (Oedipus!).

The Asshole’s Worry-Free Guide to Impending Fatherhood

1 – Survival (Baby)
You’re not going to break your baby. Kids ... 
read on


we don't need some other hero
4.6.11 : feature!
quality control
parental guidance is required
1.12.11 : feature!
bleat the parents
judgment fray
12.22.10 : feature!
this changes everything
the apple of my eye
11.5.10 : feature!
how did i get here?
it has stopped making sense
10.6.10 : feature!
--view all columns--


1. caught between mars and a no place
television's new watch worlds
11.15.04 : feature!
2. television without sanity
step away from the remote
6.9.03 : feature!
3. bleat the parents
judgment fray
12.22.10 : feature!
4. 9021-no
not bad enough to be good
9.5.08 : feature!
5. chasing famey
affleck, you was the bomb in phantoms, yo!
6.23.04 : feature!
--view all columns--


re: the worry-free guide to impending fatherhood

Great column, asshole.

re: superbland?

Spot-on. And it's possible for Superman to have a sense of humor. Look at the Superfriends.

re: bleat the parents

Mike, I just have to give you a big AMEN for this!! I agree with you so much that I have made it my life's work to make a little dent in the guilt, judgment and shame game of parenting!

re: bleat the parents

Late to reading this, but enjoyed it tremendously.

re: this changes everything

Love the build up. one our your best.

re: poker face

Mike's got a crush! Mike's got a crush!

re: the parent trap

Really, really funny. This killed me. (And love your blog, too.)

re: the season of the watch

Exceptionally funny!!!

re: clear and presents danger

You poor thing, you are REALLY in trouble now!

re: dagwoodn't

At last: somebody who gets it!!!


mike has 3 fans within Intrepid Media.

Intrepid Media is built by Intrepid Company and runs on Dash