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11 to 20 of 42 columns
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11. hey, pretty lady, what's cookin?!
pop culture - criticism
8.29.05 : feature column!

Looking good! Shake it, baby! You are lookin hot today, mama! And of course, the classic, You got big titties! Really? Your perception is astounding. This is my day, people. And while some women can probably relate, men often have no idea how NORMAL it is to hear catcalls being SCREAMED AT YOU from complete strangers. I've been doing my research. I live in a city and I walk, on average, an hour a day. Sometimes several. But just in one 5-day week of walking to and from work, I was addresse...
12. let's get fugafied
they hate what you're wearing
humor - lifestyle
7.27.05 : feature column!

I'm not gonna lie to ya... I don't don designer threads every time I leave the house. Nor do I bring three costume changes to my own party (although I WOULD.) But as trendsetting and "in" as Hollywood headliners and rich second-rate starlets are supposed to be, sometimes they just really have no freakin' clue when it comes to fashion. Nowhere is this made more apparent than on the Go Fug Yourself website. Driven by humanity's voyeuristic need to judge and demean others in order to feel bette...
13. hot for the bod
conquering the south beach diet
humor - improvement
5.25.05 : feature column!

Let me start off by saying that I do NOT diet. Occasionally, I watch what I eat and what I see myself eating the most is buffalo chicken and pepperoni pizza. So far in life, this diet, alongside a regular consumption of alcoholic products ranging from Sierra Nevada (light beer? yuck!) to apple martinis, has fared just fine. But I've started noticing things. Things that weren't there before, things that snuck up in the night! Granted, I recently moved and, on top of the stress of that, stopp...
14. somebody's getting married
make that everybody
humor - lifestyle
4.27.05 : feature column!

There are circles of life that are inevitable. People are born, people grow up (in age, if not maturity), people get married, people have kids, people die. Your entire life summed up in five steps or less! Currently, I am stuck smackdab in the middle of that third stage... My life is an ever-evolving stage of tulle and posies, Save-the-Dates and bridal showers. To be fair, I was the first of my friends to get married. But that didn't really count, because champagne buzzes can't last forev...
15. bitch
meredith brooks got nothing on me
humor - lifestyle
3.28.05 : feature column!

Something very poignant has occurred to me lately: I’m a bitch. Now, I've never been known as a particularly nice person. Not that I'm up there with Hitler or anything, but I'm not having tea and crumpets with Mother Theresa either. And not just cause the whore is dead! I'm wouldn’t say I’m overtly mean or anything, but pious, selfless, altruistic or even particularly pleasant probably aren't the first words that come to mind for one who REALLY knows me. I have long been in awe of genuin...
16. state of a union
an intrepid journey
humor - lifestyle
1.26.05 : feature column!

When I first walked through the ethereal doors of Intrepid Media, I had no idea what to expect. I plodded around on the Features Page for a while, casually browsed the Gallery. I was seen but not heard. On Valentine’s Day of 2001, in the wake of an admittedly broken heart, I joined Intrepid Premium. This was done mainly to vent my vitriolic rage and declare my freedom in a prophetically schmaltzy piece of prose. It was the kind of stuff that I make fun of most people for feeling, let alone ...
17. tra la la-ing for your fa la las
is it christmas already or does everyone need to settle down?
pop culture - criticism
11.24.04 : feature column!

On November 2nd at approximately 3:43 PM, I entered the Cary Towne Center shopping mall. I needed to return a Halloween aftertought and compile a short birthday wish list for the upcoming big day. What big day I was not anticipating celebrating was the Big X... Christmas, Noel, Navidad! Why? Because it was two days after Halloween, I was still finding glitter in places it was never intended to be and I very well may have still been drunk. But there, all around me, I couldn't escape it: Ch...
18. a day in the life: penny lane
welcome to my (semi-)reality
pop culture - lifestyle
9.27.04 : feature column!

Jessica Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith, John Gotti, Paris Hilton, Ozzy Osbourne, some shmuck from NJ, some schmuck from Australia, some schmuck from San Francisco, five random Amish people... What do each of them have in common? Their own reality series. It's ri-goddamn-diculous. First of all, reality tv was my idea. It was. And now I want to take it back. In college, my roommate and I always use to joke that we needed our own show. We always dreamed of our own video camera and then when we g...
19. girl, uninterrupted
heather is home
general - appreciation
6.30.04 : feature column!

As Independence Day draws near, I have a whole new freedom to celebrate. I’m moving into my very first very own place. I grew up in a family of five brothers and sisters. My home growing up was more like a war zone meets Barnum & Bailey’s than the Brady household. Ever since leaving the Millen Village, I’ve had roommates. Fabulous roommates, yes, but roommates nonetheless. They’ve left great memories; roommates are there when you get home from a dreadful day and need someone with whom you ...
20. of knights and nonsense
the ghastly myth of gallantry
pop culture - lifestyle
5.28.04 : feature column!

Remember the days of lords and ladies? Of gallant white knights and their damsels in distress? As young girls, how we all dreamt of gazing out from our second story balcony wishing on faraway stars that our prince would come. From that euphoric place, we could almost see him galloping up on his healthy steed, dark hair blowing in the breeze, clear blue eyes transfixed upon our delicate splendor. There was nothing that would stand in his way from making sure we were the happiest girl on earth...
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re: constant craving


re: constant craving

you are SO perfect, and I love this column. sweet, satisfying and with no lasting ill effects. other than the fact that I, too, want a fucking cookie.

re: who moved my chi?

Concepts I really hadn't thought to think about. Thanks.

re: a diamond in the rough

Beautiful and poignant.

re: a diamond in the rough

Thats a great column.

re: love at first write


re: the heathers

Appropriately dramatic, poetic and just an itsey bitsy bit cute!

re: stage beauty

A lovely homage to the theatre.

re: stage beauty

Good read.

re: the haunting hours

I don't watch them either.

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