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THE EMPIRE OF JACK:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY JACK BRADLEY

11 to 16 of 16 columns
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11. is that a lolly in your bum bag...
...or are you just chuffed to see me?
writing - lifestyle
9.17.00 : feature column!

The following sentence was written to me just the other day, during the course of an otherwise pretty mundane conversation via email: “Snog. Snog. I love that. Is that an Aussie-ism? ‘Snog me, you freaky little hunk of love stuff, and throw another shrimp on the Barbie, while you're at it?’" See, I’d used the word ‘snog’ in a sentence to an American, forgetting that it’s an Aussie word, not an American one. It means to kiss or ‘make out’ with someone pretty intensely. Let’s not go into why I ...
12. the hard way
fond memories of the card catalog back when it had cards
writing - process
8.23.00 : feature column!

I miss the library. No, really. I do. See, I used to sit for hours on late afternoons in the North Carolina State University Library. From 1985 until sometime late in 1991 (Yes, I know that adds up to six years. It wasn’t math that I failed…), I would do research, write, and just plain “hang out” in the library. It was my getaway from the testosterone driven, towel-snapping, fraternity-mad orangutans that I had to live with in the dorms. And I wasn’t even a nerd. I was one of the cool kids w...
13. doing what comes naturally
general - lifestyle
7.24.00 : feature column!

In the last three days I have done the following things (in no particular order): I attended the funeral of an elderly woman who was the Grandmother of someone close to me. You can learn a lot of things about someone and their family when a crisis brings them all suddenly together. I played with a puppy in a pet store. I fell in love with the puppy, and decided to leave the store before I bought it and tried to take it home with me on the plane. I thought about that puppy pretty con...
14. i swear, i'm not making this up
evidence that creative struggles end with a dead dwarf
writing - process
5.22.00 : feature column!

Okay, I admit it. I took the easy way out. I decided that instead of spending half of my time agonizing over a subject matter and half over verb tense (I did miserably in Language Arts, as it was called when I was a tike) that I would simply find a place on this planet to offered me a subject matter for free. The verb tense I let my word processor take care of for me. What I’m getting at is this: I’m a fraud. I frequently get two comments about my writing. The first is from people who know m...
15. culture shock
where women glow, men chunder, and the spiders can kill you
humor - lifestyle
4.26.00 : feature column!

I think it’s the animals. Moving to a new place has lots of ups and downs. You expect that. So moving to Sydney, Australia presented itself as a bit of a challenge. That should come as no surprise. I prepared myself for language barriers (I don’t know what language it is, but it is NOT English), climate changes (the seasons are all backwards…who ever heard of Christmas in the summertime? And no, Florida doesn't count.), water swirling counter-clockwise down the drain (pretty cool), learning a n...
16. green olives
ah...to be 6 years old again.......
general - lifestyle
4.18.00

We all have stories, right? Embarrassing moments from our childhood? Liar. You know you do… mine are so monumentally stupid that I’ve heard my friends re-telling them as their own. Gives you a funny feeling…mainly because you can’t decide whether to claim the stupidity as your own, or to just let it go. Tough call in my book. Anyway, I was sitting at my local watering hole the other day, and a guy in a suit plopped down on the stool next to me, looking very tired, and ordered a martini,...
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RAVES

re: what have you done for me lately?

I can't stop laughing. And I think because now I know you, I'm laughing even more.

re: what have you done for me lately?

These just keep getting funnier and funnier. Well, the funny ones, at least.

re: what have you done for me lately?

Excellent! $40 and a dream! I've got to get to Australia.

re: what have you done for me lately?

Clever and engaging and witty. Just like you!

re: no laughing matter

As always, with Jack's writing, this is a keeper!

re: no laughing matter

I laughed a lot at the contridiction of this story and your bio. Perhaps that explains your fear. Maybe...just perhaps....

re: no laughing matter

I can't say I understand the phobia, but, apparently neither can you. Doesn't in the least detract from the column.

re: no laughing matter

Okay Jack, that 'splains why you hang out with this group...aversion therapy reversed.

re: no laughing matter

Scared of clowns or not, that f***ing rocked, Jack.

re: no laughing matter

i think you're great.. you really have a way of not just telling things.. but "showing" things..

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