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THE EMPIRE OF RUSS:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY RUSS CARR

21 to 30 of 87 columns
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21. bei-cha-ching 2008
nbc's not getting any of my gold
television - general
8.20.08 : feature column!

The Olympics! On NBC! Amazing how one network is willing to blackmail a nation for nearly three weeks. You want to watch the Summer Games? Fine, but it'll cost ya. NBC -- the old fashioned, proud as a peacock, over-the-airwaves variety only offered viewers the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Of the 27 competitive divisions, many of which offered multiple events, NBC gave most of its time over to women's beach volleyball, women's gymnastics, and men's swimming. Sure, these events ...
22. columnus interruptus
hey, russ, ya got a minute?
writing - general
7.23.08 : feature column!

Monday My mom, nurturing soul that she is, nearly always passes along something for me to read when we get together. Sometimes it's a book, but more often than not it's just a magazine article that has caught her eye. More often than not, it's meant to stimulate critical thought. So it was, on the first morning of our family reunion this week (perched on a mountain high above Gatlinburg, TN) that she "Okay, so we're not going horseback riding OR rafting now...so instead we're going to go on a bi...
23. inundated
too short a century for iowa
news - general
6.18.08 : feature column!

It's a surreal image, almost whimsical at first, particularly if you don't grasp the scale of it. Viewed from the air, it's an inland sea, juxtaposed with a city's sprawl. It's an American Venice, tree lined canals, each building an island! Surely if you were down at the waterline, you'd see sturdy men in striped shirts, expertly guiding their flatboats to their destinations. But down at the waterline, the truth is very different. This is a ghost town. No sounds of commerce or rush of traffic...
24. powderkeg america
molotov cocktails? not at $5 per gallon.
news - discussion
4.28.08 : feature column!

If you haven't contemplated blowing up something or someone by now, you must be either stupid or ignorant. I'm prepared to bet hard currency for the former, but in case it's the latter, read on; I'm going to take away that crutch. For starters, wrap your head around this number: $515,129,536. That's over half a billion-with-a-B dollars. That's how much money, as of April 21*, the three leading presidential candidates (sorry, Ron Paul) have raised for their campaign war chests, according to Fede...
25. happy birthday suit
gonna have you naked by the end of this column
humor - lifestyle
2.27.08 : feature column!

Now is the right time to be naked. Here are 38 reasons why. 1. It's cost-effective. You wear clothes, they get dirty. You gotta wash 'em. That takes detergent, a washing machine, water, electricity. You wear clothes, they get worn out. You gotta replace 'em. It takes a lot less time, water, soap, etc. to just wash your body, and with proper care, it'll last you a lifetime. In the summer, it cuts down on your A/C bill. 2. It's green. Think of all the textile factories pumping out pollutants jus...
26. what i didn't get this christmas
wish not, want not
general - lifestyle
12.26.07 : feature column!

Food poisoning. A paper cut. Tree sap on my fingers, in my hair, on my clothes. Any Bee Gees albums. Sent to the principal's office. A draft notice. Excedrin headache #39. Pine needles under my fingernails. A phone call from someone trying to reach the Hopewell Fish Market. Inkstained hands. Bloodstained hands. Psoriasis. Slightly irregular men's briefs. A cell phone bill. A cell phone. A visit from the King (either/or). A call from an autodialer associated with any major political party. Irrit...
27. shooting from the lip
were they really stupid enough to say that?
news - discussion
10.24.07 : feature column!

Short People got no reason to live They got little hands and little eyes And they walk around tellin' great big lies Randy Newman's silly novelty song didn't mean much to me when it was getting airplay back in 1977. I heard other schoolkids parroting it, of course, but seriously, we were seven. We were all short. Decades passed. Randy Newman now makes hideous coin writing treacly songs for Disney, schoolkids now parrot songs about niggaz and hoes and we once young sprats have grown up. Of cou...
28. small steps and giant leaps
we are 'go' for first stage separation
general - lifestyle
8.24.07 : feature column!

The next 18 years begin with a small blond boy tucking a toy train in a green nylon backpack. School starts tomorrow, the first day of preschool for my oldest boy. Already a loaded backpack waits in the hallway, filled with notebooks and markers. He's got show and tell the very first day, and not an hour ago he finally decided what he wanted to bring, a small brown steam locomotive that he's had practically since he was first able to say "train." Tomorrow he'll tuck it away in the cavernous dep...
29. inside russ carr
the intrepid interview
general - discussion
6.25.07 : feature column!

This month Russ Carr marks his fifth year as a columnist here at Intrepid Media. I sat down with him recently to milk his brain of every creamy opinion. Intrepid Media: So hey, good afternoon. Russ Carr: Thanks. Always glad to take one for the team. IM: Good, good. Whatcha drinking there? RC: Absolut Ruby Red and tonic. The new drink of choice. It's summer, y'know, gotta think light. Refreshing. Tangy. IM: I'll have to get some. RC: Do. You'll thank me. And I got two bucks in for plugging Absol...
30. and so it goes
but where it's going, no one knows
general - discussion
4.23.07 : feature column!

It's been one hell of a couple of weeks, hasn't it? I scarcely know where to begin. Kurt Vonnegut died not yet two weeks ago, and I believe I'm still spinning. Not because he died, but because of the way his death was bookended with breathtaking ferocity. And part of me wonders what his words would have been about it all. The first thing that happened, a week before Mr. Vonnegut shambled along, was that an old white man, undoubtedly the product of his generation and its deeply buried but frequ...
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RAVES

re: without control, there's only chaos

Great because I agree with the perspective and like how you wrote about it.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

The pigger the better. Well-written, just right.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

Funniest serious article I've ever read. Thanks Russ.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

Pretty moving... and funny.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

A great example of dark-ish humor!

re: this one goes up to '11

One of the funniest I've read. Really great.

re: hawaii five, viewer zero

I don't know if the show is any good, but the review sure is. Reading Russ is better than watching TV anyway: smarter, sharper, and just plain awesomer. Mahalo!

re: hawaii five, viewer zero

Yup. Excellent critique.

re: state of what union?

Well-written and well-stated. Not quite sure what the answer is, but, at the very least, voting keeps getting us off the couch cushions.

re: state of what union?

Excellent column. Passes over the easy targets and hones in on the problem.

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