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THE EMPIRE OF RUSS:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY RUSS CARR

31 to 40 of 87 columns
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31. bring on the dancing fembots!
i am woman, hear me
na-na-na-na-na
television - general
2.21.07 : feature column!

Bionic. If you're of a certain age, that word conjures up distinct memories...and a tell-tale sound effect. Get ready to start hearing it again. David Eick, half of the production team responsible for the exceptional reimagining of that aromatic '70s cheesefest "Battlestar Galactica" into one of the most captivating dramas on television, intends to spin Velveeta into Wensleydale once again, bringing "The Bionic Woman" up to modern sensibilities. To make it better than it was before. Stronger....
32. i've been everywhere, man
billboards of wisdom from the road to nowhere
general - lifestyle
9.22.06 : feature column!

Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way. Thanks to you, I'm much obliged For such a pleasant stay. But now it's time for me to go, The autumn moon lights my way. I've never been too good at volunteering information. Or small talk. Spontaneous dialogue is not my forte. Given the choice between talking and not talking, I'd generally choose the latter. But as I prepare to enquiver my quills here at Intrepid Media, I'm struck by the same obligation others have felt to give some ki...
33. party animals
a red scare in a blue state
news - discussion
8.23.06 : feature column!

I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever, in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else, where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent. If I could not go to heaven but with a party, I would not go there at all. —Thomas Jefferson to Francis Hopkinson, 1789 I can't decide what best describes the plight of Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT). Is he a former Don who did the Fam...
34. i can no longer shop happily
time to bag the supermarket
general - lifestyle
7.24.06 : feature column!

A cattle prod. Or a whip. That's what I want in the grocery store. The two little old ladies standing in front of the doors to the ice cream freezers? zzzzPOW! And a cowcatcher on the front of my cart to bulldoze remote shoppers (their side of the cellphone: "Well they have 'vegetable beef' and 'beef vegetable.' Which do I get?") away from the soup. I've had my fill of supermarket shopping. The crowds. The prices. The parking. The arbitrary pricing. The E coli. Getting your foodstuffs for the...
35. you can't buy a baby on rodeo drive
do celebrity adoptions go too far?
general - lifestyle
6.28.06 : feature column!

Last night my wife and I watched "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." You know, the original (if re-titled) adaptation of Roald Dahl's children's classic, with Gene Wilder as that crazy candy man, and the Oompa Loompas with the orange skin and green hair. Of the four exceedingly bratty children in the film, the worst of the lot is the shrill, self-serving Veruca Salt, who spends her share of the story screaming, whining, begging and extorting her spineless father to give her anything she se...
36. tv diner
will work for food network
television - appreciation
5.22.06 : feature column!

It's 3:20 on a Friday afternoon, and I'm starving. I've got Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts at my desk. The break room is just a fast dash through the art department, and though it's hardly haute cuisine, the stuff in the vending machine isn't all bad. I'm not lost for calories. I just need...Food. Network. My new office is cable-deprived right now. Whether I'll get rewired soon is a matter of much speculation. But in the meantime, it's 3:27, and just three minutes from now, Everyday Italian w...
37. the boy in the box
moo
humor - career
4.26.06 : feature column!

In three weeks, I get my first cubicle. For many of you, that's probably no big deal; you've grown used to your cloth-paneled den of commerce after X number of years in the business. You don't even give it a second thought. Me, right now I feel like Jean-Luc Picard in the moment just before he was assimilated by the Borg. Paralyzed. Transfixed. Terrified. And yet somehow also perversely fascinated by the inevitable change. To lose one's previously unbounded workspace for the matte grey vertica...
38. the snake, driven out
ireland's past is iraq's future
news - discussion
3.20.06 : feature column!

It's 5:27 on a pleasant spring evening. Rush hour is bustling along, and people are making their way home, or heading to grocery stores and restaurants for dinner. The streets are busy, sidewalks packed. At 5:28, a car explodes, killing 11 people. At 5:30, a car explodes, killing 14 people. At 5:32, a car explodes, killing 2 people. In just four minutes, 27 innocent people are dead or dying, and hundreds more are injured. These excruciating murders didn't take place on the streets of Baghda...
39. the write stuff
one year, one novel
writing - process
2.22.06 : feature column!

I am a novelist. What? Did you think that Jael McHenry's feature column of a few weeks ago was no different than any of a dozen other fleetingly inspirational calls to action that you've read here at Intrepid over the years? Did you dismiss that momentary frisson of literary potential as nothing more than a winter chill up your spine? You must have, 'cause I don't see you stepping up. So if this ain't your craft, if you'd rather be cranking on what's on TV, or who's being unfair to you today,...
40. prime time's abandoned children
fathered and forgotten, fan faves face failure
television - discussion
1.23.06 : feature column!

Last summer's TV season left us with some great cliffhangers. Consider just the shows I followed: "Veronica Mars": The plucky girl P.I. solved her best friend's murder, but her boyfriend might've been beaten to death by bikers. And who was it at the door? "Battlestar Galactica": The President was tossed in jail, there were naked Boomer clones everywhere, and Commander Adama was shot twice in the chest in front of everyone. "Lost": The raft was blown up, Sawyer was shot, Walt was abducted and ...
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RAVES

re: without control, there's only chaos

Great because I agree with the perspective and like how you wrote about it.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

The pigger the better. Well-written, just right.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

Funniest serious article I've ever read. Thanks Russ.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

Pretty moving... and funny.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

A great example of dark-ish humor!

re: this one goes up to '11

One of the funniest I've read. Really great.

re: hawaii five, viewer zero

I don't know if the show is any good, but the review sure is. Reading Russ is better than watching TV anyway: smarter, sharper, and just plain awesomer. Mahalo!

re: hawaii five, viewer zero

Yup. Excellent critique.

re: state of what union?

Well-written and well-stated. Not quite sure what the answer is, but, at the very least, voting keeps getting us off the couch cushions.

re: state of what union?

Excellent column. Passes over the easy targets and hones in on the problem.

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