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THE EMPIRE OF ERIK:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY ERIK LARS MYERS

31 to 40 of 94 columns
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31. when the moon hits your eye
a prologue
writing - sample
6.13.07 : feature column!

On the corner of Lincoln and Market streets there is a small brick building. It's made of those bad art deco sandy colored bricks, not the good old fashioned red kind, built with by the masons of yesteryear. The windows and doors of the building are boarded closed with cheap weatherbeaten plywood and rusty nails. The wire skeleton that once held the plastic Coca-Cola sign bearing the name of the establishment serves only to frame the dirty sky that hangs lightly over it. Only one thing remai...
32. autobots, roll out
inside the fear in one geek's mind
film - discussion
5.21.07 : feature column!

Somewhere I feel like something in Hollywood is being marketed wrong. I know I'm in the coveted 18-35 White Middle Class Male demographic, but surely I can't be the one that Hollywood is marketing to. It doesn't make any sense. What about the baby boomers? There are so many of them it's going to crash Social Security. Every single retirement commercial lately starts off with, "Did you used to be a hippie?" You can't lure them into the theater? How hard could it possibly be? It's the 30 y...
33. of geckos and burger kings
ill omens of a hollywood future
film - criticism
4.18.07 : feature column!

There are so many things I don't understand in this world. In case you missed it, a television show is in the works starring the Geico cavemen, and a full-length feature movie is in the works starring the Burger King. Don't believe me? Hit Google. I haven't read anything beyond short articles about these. Frankly, I don't feel like I need to. I'd like to feel indignant about it. I keep wanting to be angry. But I keep going back to the fact that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was inven...
34. the smartest man at the three ring circus
watching japan's best pitcher manipulate the mlb
sports - appreciation
3.19.07 : feature column!

This year, as even those who don't follow baseball will surely know, the Red Sox signed a new pitcher from Japan: Daisuke Matsuzaka. I'm not going to get sports geeky on you; suffice to say that he's got a reputation as a pretty good pitcher. He also has a reputation for having a mystery pitch - the Gyro Ball. We'll get to that later. Matsuzaka's appearance on the American baseball scene has been amazing and nothing short of flamboyant. This is not, by far, the first Japanese player the ML...
35. shopping around the beltway
a look at the men's side of women's sizing
humor - general
2.16.07 : feature column!

There I was: At home, walking nonchalantly across my living room when tragedy struck. Contrary to what you may think, tragedy doesn't always strike with a gong, or a boom, or even an ominous flash of lightning and rumble of thunder. In this case, tragedy had more of a soft "fwip" as my belt broke in half while I was taking it off -- which meant it was time to shop for a new one. Up until that point, I'd bought 3 belts in my life. The first was some belt I bought in K-Mart, maybe Ames, pos...
36. tasty technology
one might even say del.icio.us
tech - appreciation
1.22.07 : feature column!

Maybe it's because I've worked in IT so long, but I'm generally one of the last people I know to jump on tech fad bandwagons, most especially anything that reeks of the redundant moniker, "social networking." I don't use MySpace, Facebook, Flickr, or Last.fm. I'm even suspicious of Friendster (even though I'm there), because they seem really focused on the skanky 18-year old Filipino demographic and I'm just not skeevy enough to be interested in that. Yet, this other thing has really caught m...
37. happy freakin' holidays
are they over, yet?
pop culture - criticism
12.25.06 : feature column!

Okay, let me get the disclaimer out of the way, right away: First person that alludes to Scrooge in the comments gets kicked in the box. Don't give me any of that Dickensian rabblemouthing if you want to enjoy your holiday turkey, you spendthrift lout. God bless us every one, and all that jazz. Let me tell you a story. It starts way, way back in October. On October 30th, actually. The day before Halloween. I heard a rumor that, unlike every other year I've been living on my own, there w...
38. opine for the masses
an easy guide to home punditry
pop culture - criticism
11.22.06 : feature column!

If you've watched, read, or listened to any sort of news media in the past few years, you're probably familiar with just how many experts there are our there. Hell, if you've swung a cat recently, you've probably hit a pundit or two, regardless of what you were aiming for. It's hard to conceive where all these pundits came from. One would think that there would be an increase of them in the grocery store before they showed up in public. Maybe in between the zucchini and the green peppers, ...
39. lay off my booze!
tired of the villainization of alcohol
pop culture - criticism
10.23.06 : feature column!

The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. There. I said it. And no. I didn't mean it. But neither did Mel Gibson. My excuse is satire. But that hardly stands up to good ol' Mel's excuse: Alcohol. Recently, when Mark Foley resigned from his position in Congress because of his penchant for cybersex with congressional pages, he announced that he was checking himself into rehab for ... you guessed it .. alcoholism and "other behavioral problems." And here's where I get indignan...
40. tv dot net
a bold new step to the future, weakly taken
tech - criticism
9.20.06 : feature column!

Last week, AT&T made a bold new step toward the future. They announced that, through a partnership with MobiTV, they would begin streaming television channels over the internet -- available for a small fee of only $20/month. It's an interesting concept, and one that could be really excellent if done well. Oh, if only. I signed up for their free trial to give it a shot. I do not subscribe to cable television, but I do subscribe to MLB.TV, which is a similar content delivery system. This, ...
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RAVES

re: the great american sameness

Erik, this is by far your best piece you've written! I love the descriptions along your road trip. They remind me of the many road trips I've taken from Phoenix, AZ to Seattle and back. Or last summer when we drove from Phoenix through Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana to Glacier National Park. What I like best about this piece, is that it flows so naturally. You weave your point in about "sameness" subtly with diplomacy. And your point is something EVERY person living in America needs to be more open to. I agree that the very "sameness" you speak of is killing our ability to "think" in this country. I applaud your efforts in opening up the topic for discussion.


re: google+

You are exactly right and you beat me to this point. It's missing the integration. Well done.

re: where have all the bad guys gone?

A very good perspective on why it's never easy nowadays to just pick a side & stick with it at the movies.

re: occupational profiling

It's all very confusing!

re: love a fair

Sorry I'm so late. I'm way behind with my email.

re: how the privileged get more privileges

Beautiful!

re: how to be on the internet

This advise applies to many things, not just Internet postings. Well done.

re: how to be on the internet

Such wisdom!

re: understanding the zombie invasion

Excellent!

re: understanding the zombie invasion

Mucho entertaining. Time wasted/well-spend reading this.

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