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THE EMPIRE OF MAIGEN:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY MAIGEN THOMAS

31 to 40 of 74 columns
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31. dating
you're doin' it wrong
humor - lifestyle
12.30.09 : feature column!

Once upon a time, I was drunk and sad on a layover in Amsterdam. Anyone can be drunk in Amsterdam, but why would anyone be sad in such a beautiful place? I was on a six day trip that included two twenty-four hour layovers in Den Haag, a gorgeous seaside town forty-five minutes outside of the city proper. Flying with some super-senior women, I was the low girl on the totem pole, and they were quite frankly really mean to me. Usually, I can deal with anyone, but this trip fell just after a...
32. find a couch on craigslist, not a boyfriend
a horror story about internet dating
humor - lifestyle
11.23.09 : feature column!

I hadn't intended to return home so soon. When I unpacked my backpack a couple of weeks ago, I found all of the cold-weather clothes that I had packed as well as summer clothes. My plans for travel were much longer than my bank account would allow though, so I'm home to work for a while and re-attack my country-hopping itinerary. Best-laid plans and all, right? I knew I'd be here for a while, and since I don't know many people in the area, I thought I'd give internet dating a try. I joined ...
33. well you didn't tell me that, now did you?
things learned about traveling while traveling
humor - lifestyle
10.26.09 : feature column!

Despite having been a flight attendant for the last year and a half, I've never been as intrepid as I may seem. At work, I'm always on someone else's schedule. After sleeping off the jet lag, I seem to find myself with barely enough time to find a souvenir, then I'm in the air again. I've never gone off on my own, never traveled without a safety net of family or boyfriend, never explored the unknown. I'm a creature of comforts when at home: I order the same dish from restaurants because it's ...
34. bring your own toilet paper
and try not to freak out
general - lifestyle
9.25.09 : feature column!

I'm leaving the nest, and my parents are - for lack of a better term - totally losing their shit about it. It's not like I haven't left before. You do remember I moved to Canada, married a Canadian and got kicked out of the country, right Dad? It was less than two years ago and it's still kind of funny-slash-painful for me. The day I went to college with a jeepful of stuff, my grandmother CRIED when she helped me pack everything. I had to box up half my childhood memories that she had sent ...
35. ignorance should never be bliss
three simple ways to be a better consumer
pop culture - lifestyle
8.26.09 : feature column!

It doesn't matter which position you hold in what company, you have customers. You make call them clients, consumers, readers or passengers, but they're all making a choice, and they chose YOU. But this column isn't about how to give great customer service. There are many hundreds of webpages, columns and seminars out there dedicated purely to that. In fact, teaching companies how to Give Great Customer Service is an industry of its own. I'd like to take a moment to focus on how to be a bet...
36. taking time
why, in this economy, i would voluntarily take six months unpaid leave
pop culture - career
7.27.09 : feature column!

I have been working since the day after my fifteenth birthday. I started as a bagger at my local grocery store, and eventually moved up to the awesome responsibility of being a cashier. Since the day I started working, I have steadily worked at a part- or full-time job, sometimes two. Granted, I've had 63 jobs in 23 industries, if you count things like teaching knitting classes for pay as a job (I wonder, is that in the 'fashion' industry or the 'textile' industry?) - which I do, as that was ...
37. around the world in 80 dishes
part one
pop culture - lifestyle
6.26.09 : feature column!

"So, you spend all your downtime reading?" The captain asked. I thought for a moment. "I wouldn't say ALL of it, no." I had just passed a novel to another flight attendant on the crew van taking us to the airport after a thirteen hour layover in Vegas, and her surprised reaction was "You just bought this yesterday! You're finished already?" I read fast. And this book wasn't exactly a chore to get through. I read it in less than a day, yes, and retained most of it (which wasn't terribly i...
38. hey you, go home!
how to avoid messing up a one night stand.
humor - lifestyle
5.27.09 : feature column!

We've all been there. A night out, you've been drinking, you're horny and the person you've been flirting with seems really receptive...so you take them home. Or you go to their place. It's all giggles and kissing in the cab, groping in the stairwell, fumbling for the keys. Finally you're inside and clothes start flying off, chairs are bumped into, maybe a roommate is woken up. Things get hot and sweaty and... And it can all go horribly wrong at any time. I want to help you, though, so he...
39. this earth day, make the world a better place
and not just with your gorgeous smile!
pop culture - improvement
4.22.09 : feature column!

"Another day, another dollar." Or, perhaps you've heard, bitterly and far more appropriate to the current economic situation: "Same shit, different day." It's always a cycle for us, whether we be creative types or worker bees in cubicle farms, however exciting life can be one day, it's usually back to normal the next. Or, whatever the closest approximation to 'normal' can be. Unfortunately, the same logic can't be applied to the planet we call home. "Another day...same earth" just doesn't h...
40. basic human rights
where do you draw the line?
news - discussion
3.25.09 : feature column!

We've all read about the "Octomom", an extreme example of the baby-manufacturing industry gone wrong. This woman, a single mother on welfare living in California who already had six children, just gave birth to eight more. All fourteen of them were conceived with the assistance of in-vitro fertilization. I know I'm not the only person who's quite shocked and not just a bit outraged by this situation -- the country-wide backlash was matched only by the positive outpouring of support...
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RAVES

re: it may be petty

Just excellent.

re: trust your own judgment

I really liked that. Good luck on the next 4 years.

re: dating is different these days

Good luck!

re: me-conomics part 1: poor, poor you.

Writing about the economy is hard. You nailed it.

re: me-conomics part 1: poor, poor you.

Brilliant

re: me-conomics part 1: poor, poor you.

You hit this out of the park. It's timely and accessible. Most of all, sharply spot-on.

re: what happens when you go to bed with gilda

That was really good. Probably the best thing you've written (at least that I've read).

re: what happens when you go to bed with gilda

Flipping brilliant. I don't think anyone else could have written this.

re: what happens when you go to bed with gilda

You really nailed it...that is why we all do..IT !!!we all need the fantasy...so don't blame those married guys too much..their wives are doing it ...too !!(smile)

re: what happens when you go to bed with gilda

I don't like Real Life on its own either. Nicely done!

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