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THE EMPIRE OF ERIK:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY ERIK LARS MYERS

41 to 50 of 94 columns
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41. a hop from the grape vine
why wine people don't like beer
pop culture - discussion
8.21.06 : feature column!

I have this theory. Okay. Let me pause for a second and say that this is a phrase that usually comes out of my mouth after a good deal of beer, and generally ends with me pontificating about the reproductive habits of Smurfs (It's mitosis, I tell you! Smurfette is a mutant.) But this time I'm dead serious. I've come up with this theory because I'm tired of being sniped at by people who don't like beer, particularly people who favor wine to beer and consider beer a lowly drink, not fit to pas...
42. a critical mistake
why movie critics can't be trusted
film - criticism
7.21.06 : feature column!

A few weeks ago, I turned down advice. I went against the conventional wisdom presented to me by the Internet and went to the movie theater to watch The DaVinci Code. I was shocked. Blown away. Was it because of the moral implications of the movie? That (spoiler here, sorta) the thought of Jesus Christ as a father and lover broke down the theological bonds of rational faith and my world was sent careening, caterwauling, into a spiral of madness and secularism? No. Actually, I was surpris...
43. the upgrade path of least resistance
what you can expect from windows vista
tech - criticism
6.19.06 : feature column!

I am not a Microsoft rep. I am a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. This does not preclude me from cynicism about Microsoft products. There is your upfront disclaimer. I know enough to be dangerous, but I don't have to like it. This coming November, so they have announced, Microsoft will regale us with a new version of their Windows operating system named Windows Vista and a new version of Office (2007). You can get the "official" tour over at the Windows Vista homepage, but don't bothe...
44. on turning thirty
conventional wisdom can sit and spin
humor - lifestyle
5.17.06 : feature column!

After a fair amount of wheedling, dealing, and unmentionable sexual favors I graduated from high school when I was 17 years old, just before my senior year. It was great. I couldn't stand high school, and I was ready to get to college. I remember speaking to one of my classmates' parents about it at the time and they said to me, "I don't know why you're doing this. High school -- these are the best years of your life, and you're cutting it short." And all I could think was: "Kill me now." ...
45. modern mythmakers
why sports journalism isn't journalism
news - sample
4.17.06 : feature column!

Once upon a time, sports news was simple. If you weren't at the game, you had no picture. You had a radio, you had the noise of the game (maybe), a running play-by-play and a little "color commentary." You had an explanation of what was happening, with a little storytelling thrown in to make it interesting. If you missed the game you caught up the next day in the newspaper. You looked at the box score, you read the written piece that highlighted the scoring plays of the game, with a little ...
46. attack of the yes men
the blockbuster bust
film - criticism
3.22.06 : feature column!

In my imagination, everyone in the movie business is a David Mamet character. It's probably not true. Logic dictates that somewhere, there must be some poor key grip who's just doing it for the love of the craft and not living off of the blood of innocents sacrificed with a hollow-tipped, bone-handled knife on an altar built from cast off set pieces from Star Trek IV. The rest of them? David Mamet characters, each and every one of them. This is how I imagine an average transaction happening...
47. beautification project
please forgive our sawdust - we use it for flavor
advertising - discussion
2.20.06 : feature column!

Last week, during the Superbowl, you might have noticed a strange beer commercial. It didn't seem to be advertising for any company, just... beer. It showed people toasting in a ton of languages then a URL. Flashback: CNN reported last month that beer sales are on the decline. Domestic breweries saw their market share fall 2% in 2005, while makers of whiskeys, scotches, and wines have all seen their market share rise. What the vigilant writers of CNN Money have missed, however, is that c...
48. how to find a needle in a haystack
google maps - the next great internet app
tech - appreciation
1.18.06 : feature column!

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past year, you are familiar with Google Maps. It's a brilliant tool; a steamy menage trois of nice big, clear maps, slick satellite technology (thanks to Keyhole - now Google Earth), and Google's base search function. It allows you search for things like Scientologist churches near Philadelphia Airport with accuracy never seen before. It puts Mapquest and Yahoo! Maps to shame. The satellite maps are so fun to play with that there are even sight...
49. cable a la carte
the solution to the problem of cable television
television - discussion
12.19.05 : feature column!

Tell me if this sounds familiar. Your local cable company has a Standard Cable Package. It doesn't include a DVR. Nor does it include a three-pronged, duo-tone, glow-in-the-dark, active-feedback remote control that, with proper programming, can run your televison, VCR, DVD player, stereo, toaster and dog. It has 14 basic channels -- those magical network channels that still float through the air to be picked up by those archaic people with antennas and rabbit-ears (like me): CBS, NBC, ABC,...
50. listen to your heart
or at least something else, for the love of all that's holy
humor - general
11.21.05 : feature column!

In the past few months, at my place of work, I have had to move to a temporary space while renovations have been going on. This is fair. Since I have been doing technical support, but have since been transitioning out of it, it was easiest to put me sort of half hidden inside another department. Initially, I was very excited about this. It seemed like a nice quiet place every time I walked through, and I thought that I'd finally be able to work without interruption. It was a group of nice l...
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RAVES

re: the great american sameness

Erik, this is by far your best piece you've written! I love the descriptions along your road trip. They remind me of the many road trips I've taken from Phoenix, AZ to Seattle and back. Or last summer when we drove from Phoenix through Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana to Glacier National Park. What I like best about this piece, is that it flows so naturally. You weave your point in about "sameness" subtly with diplomacy. And your point is something EVERY person living in America needs to be more open to. I agree that the very "sameness" you speak of is killing our ability to "think" in this country. I applaud your efforts in opening up the topic for discussion.


re: google+

You are exactly right and you beat me to this point. It's missing the integration. Well done.

re: where have all the bad guys gone?

A very good perspective on why it's never easy nowadays to just pick a side & stick with it at the movies.

re: occupational profiling

It's all very confusing!

re: love a fair

Sorry I'm so late. I'm way behind with my email.

re: how the privileged get more privileges

Beautiful!

re: how to be on the internet

This advise applies to many things, not just Internet postings. Well done.

re: how to be on the internet

Such wisdom!

re: understanding the zombie invasion

Excellent!

re: understanding the zombie invasion

Mucho entertaining. Time wasted/well-spend reading this.

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