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41 to 50 of 66 columns
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41. hot, bothered, and wanting more
a firsthand account of a first-time lap dance
writing - appreciation
8.13.08 : feature column!

Happy Birthday to you. Your friends have been saying that to you all night. They said it at the restaurant, and said so at the bar. Next thing you know, they're attempting to make themselves heard over the loud, thumping house beats you're all jamming to in the strip club. And you're all so close to the speakers that you can feel the bartop reverbate underneath your elbows and cigarettes. However, at that moment, you don't really care if your hearing will require an earpiece when you return ...
42. talk nerdy to me
appreciating today's nerdy man
humor - lifestyle
7.16.08 : feature column!

Ladies and gays, listen up. That preppy-looking GQ cutie? Bo-ring. The brooding guy mentally undressing you in the biker jacket? Pass. That gym baby you kind of suspect has bigger hots for Milo Ventimiglia than he does for you? Ignore. You can do way, way better than those guys — who, incidentally, all look alike when you're beer-goggled and in the dark. Instead, think Revenge of the Nerds' Lewis or Gilbert, "Buffy"'s Xander, or even "Heroes"'s Masi Oka. Think NERD. Now, before you associat...
43. aksing questions in new york
figuring out a rough, tough, and wrongly pronounced expression
general - lifestyle
6.16.08 : feature column!

I have a confession to make. No, it doesn't involve rug burns, a hot tub, or a West Point linebacker. Nor is it about boozing weirdoes, plus-one nooky politics, misspelled text messages, or black latex. Next to all that, it's quite boring. Here it is: I'm a stickler for proper and authentic pronunciation. One of the things that I happen to love beyond whips and Anthony Bourdain soundbites is the English language, and I enjoy seeing how it works from state to state and in different countries. ...
44. last time with joey
paying respects, minute by minute
writing - lifestyle
5.14.08 : feature column!

The minute you enter, you are struck silent. The room at the funeral home is fully packed with people and flowers. At least a hundred people are there, and twenty or so floral arrangements are stacked alongside the room's walls, making you feel simultaneously claustrophobic and dizzy. You think about ducking out of the line you're in for fresh air; the room's floral scent is heavier than the fragrance department at Macy's. But, you know you can't back out. You're there to view the open casket,...
45. the x in orthorexic
a foodie declares war on a health food junkie's disease
general - criticism
4.16.08 : feature column!

When a food-related disorder has an X in its spelling, the letter seems to make the condition just a little more dire. In orthorexia, X specifically marks a paranoid spot in a health-food junkie's worst nightmare. Wait a second, you say. Orthorexia? What? An obsessive condition not yet listed as a malady in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, orthorexia nervosa is an affliction with numerous followers nonetheless. Unlike anorexics who pursue perfection by depriving themselves of any food,...
46. three-way etiquette for dummies
a guide to popping the +1 question with finesse
humor - lifestyle
3.14.08 : feature column!

Guys, face it. Us chicks know you've always got three-way in your brain. Sleeping with two of us at the same time is usually up there, along with naked Heidi Klum daydreams, linty bits regarding your relationships, and some questionable visuals possibly involving I Love New York's very own namesake host. (Yeek.) We also know you guys usually do not succeed in addressing the topic with tact, delicacy, or general grace. In fact, when you bring it up, you pretty much thunk like a ballet dancer tha...
47. tuning in to major tune-out
digesting vh1's celebrity rehab with dr. drew
television - discussion
1.14.08 : feature column!

A few days ago, I spent a lazy afternoon at my new pad eating steak and eggs while channel-surfing with my friends John and Jen. After seeing a few commercials for "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew" featuring Brigitte Nielsen and a bloated Baldwin brother, we immediately decided to tune in. Watching Z-grade celebrities' drug-related mea culpa in boot camp appeared to be good fun. But instead of feeling entertained, I was blown away. "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew" turned out to be a stark portr...
48. i'm not too old for santa claus
ticking off the things i really want for christmas
humor - lifestyle
12.14.07 : feature column!

Hey. Santa. It's my turn today. Quit looking so shocked. I don't care if you think I'm too damn old for this. You see, I have a bone to pick with your jolly old ass. I do my best not to behave like Veruca Salt on speed and am heroically Mother Teresa nice when it's more justified to kick someone with cleats and laugh. But, in spite of my efforts, you just don't listen. In my chunky, pimply adolescent years, you let my mom give me underwear only Will Ferrell could look sexy in. As a twenty-som...
49. memoirs of an anti-geisha
remembering the start of dungeon nights
writing - lifestyle
11.14.07 : feature column!

Bartending for a photographer’s book release party is nothing new. But, the words “in a private bondage gallery” add an entirely different spin. Especially when the short, wild-eyed photographer looks at you and asks, “Have you ever thought about being a dominatrix?” The subsequent ding-ding-DING! noise resounding through your brain wipes out your disdain for his 5'4" stature and rescues you from having to volunteer to be tied up by the partygoers. A corset, being called Mistress, and learning ...
50. hoy*, it's not that serious...
weighing in on desperate housewives' filipino faux pas
news - discussion
10.15.07 : feature column!

"Can I just check those diplomas? Because I just want to make sure that they are not from some med school in the Philippines." - Susan Meyer, "Desperate Housewives" When Teri Hatcher said her line to the still-hot-from-"Firefly" Nathan Fillion during the season premiere episode of "Desperate Housewives", I immediately saw its origin: a 2006 nurses' exam scandal in the Philippines, one that involved leaked exam questions and board member bribery. I never expected Susan Meyer and Dr. Mal Reynold...
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re: does this make me a mistress?

Very well written. And insightful.

re: oh oh, here they come

This is so raw and genuine, it's fantastic.

re: as long as it isn't babysitting

A subject many of us thirty-something women can relate to, and it's a fantastic feeling to know that we're not alone or weird for having such thoughts and leanings. Great piece!

re: life sans an iphone

This is excellent. Paced well and makes some great points along the way.

re: life sans an iphone

Strong voice. Really captures all the emotions around being an iphone user, and the silly snobbery, too.

re: life sans an iphone

A genuinely different perspective, written from experience and individual opinion. I like that!

re: how do i mourn a villain?

Raw and real.

re: how do i mourn a villain?

There is no sin in ambivalence with people like your aunt. I had an aunt who was very nearly just like her.

re: the unsuperior chinese mother

Nice connection between your own experience and the book as an entry point to the larger story.

re: the passion of the mel

Nice way to criticize someone who has proven to be not so nice.

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