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THE EMPIRE OF ADAM:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY ADAM KRAEMER

51 to 60 of 153 columns
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51. nascarnage
sometimes, they turn right.
sports - appreciation
4.9.08 : feature column!

More than two years ago, as I’ve mentioned on occasion, I was hired for a part-time job that pays me to watch TV. I’m still not making that up. Come in, sit down at a viewing station, get paid. Well, there’s more to it than that, but that’s not important right now. Sounds great, though, right? Well, the kicker is that I can't actually pick the shows that I watch (try having to sit through a two-hour long Lifetime movie called “When Husbands Cheat” … bleah), so I've found myself getting assigned...
52. spring cleaning, 2008 style
brief briefs briefly brief
humor - lifestyle
3.24.08 : feature column!

Sometimes a thought will strike me, I'll observe a happening, or my deadline will approach without warning. That's right. I had no idea that it was already March. Regardless, occasionally these thoughts will be non-cohesive enough that I can't force them together into a column. Well, I can, but it would be a stretch: "Speaking of snow crabs, anyone see that recent Geico commercial?" Huh? So here's a few musings for you. Just stuff to think about. Because it's stuff that I'm thinking about. Bu...
53. equal opportunity offender
is anything sacred? should it be?
humor - criticism
2.8.08 : feature column!

When my friend Kim informed me that she was coming down from Boston to see our friend Katie (possibly "Kate" these days; if she can call me by a college nickname, I can call her Katie) in a musical at -- get this -- Carnegie Hall -- and offered me her extra ticket, I said "Sure." When I learned there would be Catholics protesting, I said "Definitely." I should stop here and mention that protesters outside of any sort of theater, museum, etc. usually get my goat. I cringe at the thought of free...
54. golden anniversary plight
there's nothing that 100 columns or more could ever do
writing - process
1.9.08 : feature column!

People are strange. I saw this guy on the T the other day... For a full year, I wrote a column in college that started that way. Well, the first sentence, anyway. It was also, not coincidentally, called "People Are Strange." And I'm not even that big a Doors fan. Yet every Tuesday, you could open a copy of the Tufts Daily and see my musings on everything from e-mail (a new pre-phenomenon) to fashion (an old phenomenon) to romance (phenomenal) to gambling to drinking, etc. And every Monday, yo...
55. reality could bite more
midseason replacements yet to come
television - criticism
12.10.07 : feature column!

As you all may know, I value truth and justice above all things. As you all may not know, I sometimes say things like that without meaning them. However, I have important news to impart. News of such significance that it might very well rock the foundations of all we consider to be true. Or it might be satire. Regardless, the facts are these (or are they?): At great risk to myself and the intrepid (no relation) team of spies I employ, I have been able to unearth a list of the top contenders for...
56. good *uck, chuck
i don't want to be chuck lorre, but i wouldn't complain if it happened
television - appreciation
11.9.07 : feature column!

Without going into detail (I'm saving that for the book), my life has changed a whole lot in the last two months. As compared to, say, six months ago, I have a new job, I'm living alone for the first time in my life, and -- most importantly -- I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Life -- knock on wood -- seems to be moving in the right direction. I'm pretty happy to be me. Which hasn't always been the case. (I can actually picture my mom reading this right now, thinking, "No, don't tell them ...
57. yo no se. je ne sais. ani lo yodeah.
at 33, i don't have all the answers
humor - improvement
10.10.07 : feature column!

Wow. A new column out and it's my birthday. How does a guy get so lucky? Well, with luck, actually. My Intro to Philosophy professor once said on a paper of mine when faced with a stupid hypothetical I posed about a man jumping out of a window in virtual reality: "He hits fake ground. That was easy. Give me another." He was a funny man. I recall another quote from the class, that of Socrates who said, "The Ultimate Knowledge is knowing that you know nothing." Man, I loved philosophy. Where el...
58. the clothes make the man
the man makes the other man wear the clothes
writing - lifestyle
9.10.07 : feature column!

I'm pretty sure that in my last column I mentioned a new job. I don't have time to check, but let's assume I did. When I first started said job, one of my questions was, "What's the dress code?" I had, of course, been wearing suits to my interviews, but at my last job, the dress code had been "no shorts, no hats" unless you were the I.T. guy, in which case it was "clothes." The answer I got was, "We're pretty conservative here. We're in summer office casual right now, but after Labor Day, all ...
59. just a minute!
with all this time-saving technology, why do i feel like i'm always falling behind?
tech - lifestyle
8.17.07 : feature column!

I have a friend, who shall remain nameless, whose boyfriend is constantly complaining to her that he doesn't have enough time to do anything. He doesn't have enough time to do his homework for grad school. He doesn't have enough time to talk to her for more than 15 minutes a day (they live about three hours apart). He doesn't have enough time to relax at all. Except that he spends four or five nights a week at the bar with his buddies. Yeah, my friend's boyfriend is a douchebag. I only mentio...
60. i can see clearly now
my brain is gone
pop culture - lifestyle
7.25.07 : feature column!

I spent the 4th of July weekend down the shore. An aside: For those who don't know, "down the shore" means at the beach in New Jersey. I know it doesn't make sense. I grew up saying it and I know it doesn't make sense. My friend Trevor used to try to put other prepositions in there. But "I'm going about the shore" just doesn't have the same ring to it. Anyway, I went down the shore. I sat on the beach. And I looked at girls. Well, women, at any rate. And they were in bikinis, for the most part...
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RAVES

re: one state, two state, red state, blue state

Bravo. Love to see you write this way.

re: short and sweet

Hilarious and awesome and endearing.

re: constant comment

Nice job!

re: and to think that i heard it on mulberry street

I love N Y too.

re: yo! i got some weight for you to watch

Absolutely one of the best columns you've written. I actually laughed....which I don't do very often. Your sintax and paragraph structure is still a little choppy, but this topic goes well with that.

re: how to lose a girl in one date

Wry, sarcastic and totally dead on.

re: sharp dressed plan

Great job on this column, Adam.

re: behind the times

Very cohesive and timely! Well written. Your tongue-in-cheek is getting much better.

re: wherefore art thou joey jo-jo junior shabadoo?

Love the fun asides and the voice is indelibly YOU.

re: wherefore art thou joey jo-jo junior shabadoo?

so how about "akaliaskraemer"

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