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THE EMPIRE OF ALEX:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY ALEX B

51 to 60 of 66 columns
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51. oh, she didn't again
cringing at britney spears' vma performance
pop culture - discussion
9.14.07 : feature column!

A few days ago on September 9th, my friend Rudy asked me to watch MTV's annual Video Music Awards broadcast with him. Though I usually ignore MTV in favor of watching "Top Chef" reruns and videos on YouTube without being pestered by Kristin Cavallari, I agreed to check it out: Britney Spears was to be its opening act. At nine o'clock that evening, Rudy and I plopped down on my couch to see Britney perform her new single "Gimme More." We thought she would deliver a hot, VMA-fabulous performanc...
52. words for the neighborhood assailant
a response to rape in my local zone
writing - general
8.20.07 : feature column!

Hey. YOU. Yeah, I'm talking to you. I don't know your name, but "vile excuse for human life" springs to mind because you robbed, raped, and sodomized a young woman in my neighborhood. In my mind, you're perfect for prostate surgery with freshly heated pokers, but reality has the unsatisfying truth: you're a mystery, an abstract figure people are trying to identify with very little information. Your police profile consists of a sketch and a set of basic statistics saying you are 5'5", Latino, a...
53. are we not entertained by top chef?
a taste of reality-tv's latest hit, garnished with jamie lee curtis
television - discussion
7.20.07 : feature column!

I love Wednesday nights. Even though I am temporarily separated from "Lost" (hem, hem—Matthew Fox!—hem, hem) because of television’s annual summer hiatus, I am not deprived. Instead of watching sweaty castaways struggle with fire, I now check out perspiring cheftestants cook off on "Top Chef". Of course, "Top Chef" isn’t the only reality-based competitive cooking show fun to watch with soft-core food fiendings —- "Iron Chef America" and "Hell’s Kitchen" are solid stomach-growling choices too. ...
54. lunchtime in harlem
a day in the life of alexis therese
writing - sample
6.18.07 : feature column!

I’m never coming here AGAIN. Alexis Therese shudders as the thought crosses her mind for the fifth time in the last three minutes at the Uptown Juice Bar, a health food café with a soul twist in Harlem. Invited by the best of her friends -- Juanita and Rudy, both of whom are black and swear the food is fantastic -- she blanches at having to be on 125th Street. She doesn’t like the big, chunky jewelry sold on sidewalk tables. She didn't listen to hip-hop. Nor does she care abo...
55. conqueror, thy name is apple
how i got an i-life
tech - lifestyle
5.25.07 : feature column!

I am hooked on Apple. No day goes by without quality time spent with my iMac and iPod; I can’t picture a day where I don’t spend some time tinkering with an iTunes playlist or listening to a podcast. But I didn’t consciously know how much of a habitual iNerd I was till I downloaded an iTunes upgrade. The page greeted me boldly with an 18-point font: “Welcome to the entertainment center of your world.” At that, I thought, "YES." My computer and iPod are indeed the gatekeepers of my entertain...
56. they call us vanilla
partying with the bdsm community
general - lifestyle
4.25.07 : feature column!

Several months ago, I attended a fundraising event held by a dominatrix dungeon here in New York. The purpose was to raise money for an injured dominatrix without health insurance; the entrance fee bought the privilege of playing with a dominatrix (or several at once), along with a chance to mingle with a crowd from the BDSM community. Like any curious corset-owning girl fond of Catwoman comic books, I checked it out. Upon arrival, I wondered what a social event full of self-styled BDSM “lif...
57. dear customer, just go home
an open letter from a bartending femme
humor - improvement
3.23.07 : feature column!

Dear Customer, I’m sending this your way because a time has come for us to have a little talk. Your $1 tip for three rounds of Budweiser is irritating; your offer of $10 on a $100 tab is paltry. You yak on and on as though I don’t notice, but trust me, I usually do. When I count out my tips, I wonder if you purposely gave me quarters. Sometimes, I tell myself to be nice to you because you’re old. I don’t tap my foot as you slowly count out one-dollar bills from your cashed Social Security che...
58. attack of the text-message bitch-slap
a transcript of a casual smackdown
writing - lifestyle
2.23.07 : feature column!

Yesterday, a series of text messages bitch-slapped me: Me: “Hey, I was upset you flaked with no explanation last week. I may not be a friend per se, but do me the courtesy of letting me know when things fall through.” BP: “Yo Alex, d truth is I wanted 2 hook up, but I’ve been c-ing someone & felt guilty as it got closer & didn’t know what 2 say. Sorry, honestly.” Me: “Well, I wish you would have said something sooner. Right now, I feel very foolish.” BP: “Y? It’s my fault, I just didn’t know w...
59. looking at the l-word
what it feels like for this girl
writing - lifestyle
2.4.07

I like a girl. I never expected to say it. As a woman who daydreams of a sunset beach wedding set amidst tiki torches, I hope for Mr. Right while appraising occasional Mr. Right Nows. I consider myself heterosexual, a guy's girl, a yin element who would certainly complement an appropriate yang. But, in spite of ideals I've been raised with and a Hallmark card culture centered on heterosexuality, the thought of her stirs me, brightens me, and arouses me. She is the woman my visions present inst...
60. a holiday ghost story
silencing the rattles and chains of relationships past
writing - appreciation
1.12.07 : feature column!

While spending the holidays in Boston, a Ghost of Christmas Past visited me. Though I am far too young, cute, and Asian to resemble Ebenezer Scrooge, I too was surprised at the unexpected presence of a ghost. The spirit in question was my ex-fiance Adam, with whom I spent four years in a relationship, and who I hadn’t spoken to since breaking up in highly argumentative and angry circumstances in 2001. The last time I had glimpsed him was four years ago at a café—where I sat down to have lunch, a...
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RAVES

re: does this make me a mistress?

Very well written. And insightful.

re: oh oh, here they come

This is so raw and genuine, it's fantastic.

re: as long as it isn't babysitting

A subject many of us thirty-something women can relate to, and it's a fantastic feeling to know that we're not alone or weird for having such thoughts and leanings. Great piece!

re: life sans an iphone

This is excellent. Paced well and makes some great points along the way.

re: life sans an iphone

Strong voice. Really captures all the emotions around being an iphone user, and the silly snobbery, too.

re: life sans an iphone

A genuinely different perspective, written from experience and individual opinion. I like that!

re: how do i mourn a villain?

Raw and real.

re: how do i mourn a villain?

There is no sin in ambivalence with people like your aunt. I had an aunt who was very nearly just like her.

re: the unsuperior chinese mother

Nice connection between your own experience and the book as an entry point to the larger story.

re: the passion of the mel

Nice way to criticize someone who has proven to be not so nice.

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