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THE EMPIRE OF RUSS:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY RUSS CARR

61 to 70 of 87 columns
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61. imitation is the laziest form of flattery
just like before, it's yesterday once more
music - criticism
4.21.04 : feature column!

So I get in my car to head back to the office after running errands. Social Code is doing a cover of Icicle Works' "A Whisper To A Scream." It's gawdawful, as Social Code is something of an industrial band, and they're taking the song's title to heart, with some guy screaming every time they reach that particular word in the chorus. Shrugging it off, I trudge up the stairs to my desk, where the Internet radio station I usually listen to is streaming a cover of "Never Say Never" by Romeo Void. I...
62. snapshots
around my world in 30 minutes
news - general
3.19.04 : feature column!

On the last day of vacation, my digital camera fell out of its bag. Now the autofocus no longer works properly, unless the camera is in "macro" mode, which is supposed to be for subjects within eight feet. The camera, in effect, is nearsighted. Just like its owner. Here's what I'm seeing these days: We're getting really serious about finding Osama bin Laden. Not that we weren't serious before. But now we're throwing all sorts of new high-tech gizmos into the chase. I look for his capture on J...
63. chow, baby
it takes guts to eat these days
humor - lifestyle
2.18.04 : feature column!

I had tortellini for dinner tonight. Tiny pasta dumplings stuffed with parmesan cheese, bathed in rich marinara sauce, chunky with mushrooms and onions, speckled with basil and oregano, filled my bowl. More parmesan -- freshly grated -- topped it off. A round focaccia, steaming from the oven, with crisp rosemary and onion flaking off the top, provided a means of mopping up the sauce once the pasta was gone. Molto squisito! Mad cow disease has herded beef off the table. Avian flu has struck the...
64. back to the future
returning to the moon is lunacy
news - discussion
1.19.04 : feature column!

It's 1961, again. Now it is time to take longer strides--time for a great new American enterprise--time for this nation to take a clearly leading role in space achievement, which in many ways may hold the key to our future on earth. I believe we possess all the resources and talents necessary. But the facts of the matter are that we have never made the national decisions or marshalled the national resources required for such leadership. We have never specified long-range goals on an urgent tim...
65. and in the darkness bind you
best. movie. ever.
film - appreciation
12.17.03 : feature column!

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. After long months, the final chapter of the most dynamic trilogy in film history has come to a close. As an army of thousands fight a nearly-hopeless battle against hordes of inhuman killing machines, one unlikely hero must find the strength within himself to infiltrate the darkest depths of evil and destroy the machinations which threaten to overwhelm the world. No, not Neo. Frodo. The final chapter in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Retur...
66. another flaccid fall
neither tuned in nor turned on
television - criticism
11.21.03 : feature column!

Two months into the new television season, and the axes are swinging. The same execs who heaped ebullient praise on their new lineups in late August now are being brutally honest: "Some of the programming just sucked," NBC's entertainment chief Jeff Zucker said. Interesting choice of words, Mr. Zucker. NBC's tentpole this season was "Coupling," an Americanized version of a popular British sitcom. The Peacock network pitched it as the natural successor to "Friends," which is now it its last se...
67. dreams in digital
the audience is salivating
tech - improvement
10.20.03 : feature column!

I want to be integrated. I want to turn on, jack in, freak out. I want to be hardwired and wireless at the same time. I got DSL this past spring. It was a revelation. Not because it was fast, not because it was always on, not because it came with a bright yellow cord and smelled like plastic. It made me look at my phone jack, and I understood. Telephone plugs, jacks, outlets, what-have-you, have four wires. Four. When you talk? You use two. Two is half of four. Maybe one is IN and one is OUT...
68. are you ready for some football?
no! it's still baseball season!
sports - appreciation
9.24.03 : feature column!

So, it's officially autumn. The stores deck their halls with Halloween decorations, while the TV networks deck their programming in clever new costumes, pretending to be anything other than the same retread plotlines and punchlines. The leaves on our trees are falling faster than French octogenarians in a heat wave. And oh...yeah...it's football season again. I HATE football season -- and the barbarian hordes of thick-skulled, light beer-swilling troglodytes who embrace it. Infidels! Usurpers! ...
69. listen here, young lady
phair enough...i'll listen to someone else
music - discussion
8.22.03 : feature column!

Jeff Miller, you should be hacked to bits with your own axe. In case you haven't been around recently, Jeff confessed as how he's smitten with the new teen rock divas and their "Grrls rule!" attitude. Dude. Are you letting the mullet think for you? I'll agree with Jeff's main point: rock's been emasculated. "Alternative" hasn't meant alternative in more than a decade. The studios crank out a steady stream of watered down Pearl Jam clones, spiked with a smattering of backmasked profanity so al...
70. dedicated
to whom do you answer?
general - discussion
7.23.03 : feature column!

He has the vise-like grip of a gorilla. He has the powerful jaws of a great white shark. He has the razor-sharp claws of a wolverine. He has the merciless kick of an irate kangaroo. He has diaper rash. My son, the juggernaut. In eight short months, my boy Brendan has gone from a little pink bobblehead who didn't weigh much more than a really good dictionary to an aspiring one-man brute squad. Just holding him is an invitation to pain: he grabs and claws at my face, yanks my fingers into his mo...
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RAVES

re: without control, there's only chaos

Great because I agree with the perspective and like how you wrote about it.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

The pigger the better. Well-written, just right.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

Funniest serious article I've ever read. Thanks Russ.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

Pretty moving... and funny.

re: the last beat of the pig-hearted man

A great example of dark-ish humor!

re: this one goes up to '11

One of the funniest I've read. Really great.

re: hawaii five, viewer zero

I don't know if the show is any good, but the review sure is. Reading Russ is better than watching TV anyway: smarter, sharper, and just plain awesomer. Mahalo!

re: hawaii five, viewer zero

Yup. Excellent critique.

re: state of what union?

Well-written and well-stated. Not quite sure what the answer is, but, at the very least, voting keeps getting us off the couch cushions.

re: state of what union?

Excellent column. Passes over the easy targets and hones in on the problem.

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