FEATURES  :  GALLERYhover for drop down menu  :  STUDIOhover for drop down menu  :  ABOUThover for drop down menu sign in


11 to 20 of 129 columns
<-back   more->

11. pandora's box
blue-icidal tendencies
humor - lifestyle
5.7.10 : feature column!

This past Wednesday I did something unprecedented. For the first time in my life, I got up and went for a run before work. Running through the park early in the morning on a beautiful spring day, I saw a side of it I’d never before witnessed; a quiet, peaceful side, unblemished by packs of howling children, swarms of yelping dogs and that one random guy who practices break-dancing on a piece of cardboard. Not sure the early morning, pre-work run is going to become a habit, but I think I kind o...
12. baby stakes
a change is gonna come
humor - lifestyle
4.23.10 : feature column!

Being tired sucks. Being exhausted is worse. And being awake for 36 hours while taking a red-eye flight across the country and going straight to work is just plain hell on earth. Can anyone sleep on an airplane? Can anyone even take a nap while sitting in a middle seat, sandwiched between a late-boarding meat-head with bruised knuckles who falls asleep to “Born To Run” (really?!) and a crazy sleep-mask-wearing pregnant lady who lays her head on your shoulder the whole seven hours from Seattle t...
13. march badness
the charity hype of women's basketball
sports - criticism
3.19.10 : feature column!

Earlier this week, President Obama submitted his picks for the NCAA Basketball Tournament. He predicted that the overall #1 seed will win it all and it was the right call. His pick is an absolute lock to win it all. Am I crazy to be making such a definitive statement at the start of sport's most unpredictable playoffs? Not at all, because I'm not talking about anything unpredictable. I'm talking about the women's NCAA Basketball Tournament, and that's more of a coronation than a competition. ...
14. the reinvention of everything
oh, we back on that again?
pop culture - discussion
2.5.10 : feature column!

Avatar is the number one grossing movie of all time (before you adjust for inflation. When you do that, it’s like number 312). As a result, nearly every potential blockbuster is being reformatted to fit 3D theaters. Prepare for an onslaught, from Clash of the Titans to Harry Potter And the Fact That Our Stars Are Now All 25 and Weird Looking (the Hot Girl Obviously Being the Exception) to Sex and the City 3D: Shoving Samantha’s Sexuality Even Further In Your Face! How hard is it to switch a no...
15. the season of the watch
my nightmare before christmas
pop culture - criticism
12.7.09 : feature column!

Lately, seasons have lost their meaning. Winter is warm, summer is barely 3 months long, spring doesn't even exist anymore, etc. But it's not just the weather that's different. TV seasons have spread through the once barren summer months, and cable shows, DVD and DVR have made almost all scheduling pointless. It's infected sports as well: baseball has spread to November, arena football keeps creeping up at us, and I don't know what's more surprising, that the NHL still exists or that it seems to...
16. clear and presents danger
you only get what you gift
humor - lifestyle
11.6.09 : feature column!

There are a lot of things at which my wife excels, and even some at which she outperforms even me. Like cleaning. And cooking. Being barefoot, definitely, as well as just generally hanging out in the kitchen. Also, while nobody’s gotten pregnant yet, I strongly suspect she’ll whip my ass (not literally) in that category too. Coincidentally, she’s also excellent at literally whipping my ass. Like most women, she basically runs things when it comes to certain...shall we say, womanly duties. I do...
17. dagwoodn't
working eating on the chain gang
humor - lifestyle
10.23.09 : feature column!

It’s a special joy, really, the feeling you get when you set out to make a good sandwich. Relishing every step of the process in anticipation of the final meal, you confidently open the fridge and pluck out each particular ingredient - some bread, a condiment, the meat, cheese, a tomato, maybe some more exotic accoutrement like a roasted red pepper or slice of avocado, depending on your taste – and lay them out on the counter, slowly piling them atop one another like a gifted architect at work...
18. office face
keeping yourself to yourself
humor - lifestyle
9.11.09 : feature column!

I have this friend. He’s a good guy, great, off-the-wall sense of humor. Zany, even, like a cut-up from an 80s movie, or that guy in the Six Flags commercials. But when you call him at work, he turns into Spock. Or a pod person. Either way, it's suddenly like talking to Leonard Nimoy. I get it. He’s at work so he tones things down. That’s normal, especially if you’re in a senior position. Can’t be acting like Mahoney when you're running things at a financial firm. Most jobs require a certain ...
19. we don't need no education
some moments just shouldn't be taught
humor - criticism
8.7.09 : feature column!

This weekend I had a few too many beers. And then I had a few too many more. And then I noticed a big stuffed-animal dog sitting to the side of the bar, serving as a kind of mascot. And then I tried to leave with that big stuffed-animal dog. And then I got thrown out of the bar, and then my wife yelled at me, and then I threw up. The next day, as I was bitching about my hangover and pretending not to remember that I had tried to steal a big stuffed-animal dog from a bar, my wife told me that ...
20. slang played
the birth of phrasation
humor - lifestyle
7.6.09 : feature column!

Let's not get into etymology, here. I'm no scientist. But I do want to talk about language, about slang. And the way certain pieces of it become ubiquitous, while others die awkward deaths, flailing for traction outside of the small cliques of wanna-be trendsetters and would-be linguists where they were birthed. Birthed by people like me. Doubt my credentials? I not only have a way with words, I'm desperate for people to recognize it. I'll never forget the day I saw this magazine cover and imm...
<-back   more->


re: the worry-free guide to impending fatherhood

Great column, asshole.

re: superbland?

Spot-on. And it's possible for Superman to have a sense of humor. Look at the Superfriends.

re: bleat the parents

Mike, I just have to give you a big AMEN for this!! I agree with you so much that I have made it my life's work to make a little dent in the guilt, judgment and shame game of parenting!

re: bleat the parents

Late to reading this, but enjoyed it tremendously.

re: this changes everything

Love the build up. one our your best.

re: poker face

Mike's got a crush! Mike's got a crush!

re: the parent trap

Really, really funny. This killed me. (And love your blog, too.)

re: the season of the watch

Exceptionally funny!!!

re: clear and presents danger

You poor thing, you are REALLY in trouble now!

re: dagwoodn't

At last: somebody who gets it!!!

Intrepid Media is built by Intrepid Company and runs on Dash