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THE EMPIRE OF TRACEY:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY TRACEY L. KELLEY

31 to 40 of 113 columns
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31. love on a train
cassie and marlo listen in
writing - process
5.29.09 : feature column!

This lady, she was blue-black, and her skin simply glowed. She worn nothing but orange--a big kaftan, with a matching headwrap. Around her neck was a string of giant silver discs. She sounded like a windchime when she moved even a little bit. Were you seated with her? No--I was just behind her. But, it's hard for me to pass up a good conversation, even if it's one I'm not involved in. So when this scrawny white chick sat next to her--and can I just say, the girl ...
32. deathtalker
cassie and marlo listen in: part 2
writing - process
4.27.09 : feature column!

“The old guy in the black leather jacket smelled of stale pot. The leather was cured with it.” “What does stale pot smell like?” “Like wet, musty leaves in back of your grandfather’s closet.” “I might find that comforting.” “Not so much when you sit next to it for six hours in row 34 of a plane.” “No way! After the pantless Frenchmen, you rode home with the old man?” “Yes.” “Did he leave his sunglasses on the whole time?” “Yes.” “And the jacket?” “His costuming was exactly the same.” “Did he ...
33. the twig and berries reveal
cassie and marlo listen in: part 1
writing - process
3.30.09 : feature column!

“So in the middle of the St. Barth’s airport, with a caged chicken on one side and an old man in a black leather jacket on the other, the young Frenchmen dropped their shorts.” “There were two of them?” “Yes. They both shucked ‘em off and changed into pants.” “In the middle of an airport. Next to a chicken.” “Well, the chicken was caged, so there wasn’t a threat of, you know, pecking.” “Gives a whole new meaning to the word pec-” “Oh, just stop.” “Were they attractive?” “That makes a differen...
34. portrait of an artist: bonne finken
the rise of a courageous new singer/songwriter
music - process
1.28.09 : feature column!

Some people chase a dream, and others create an elaborate rope and pulley system to capture it and hold it tight, even as it squirms. Singer and songwriter Bonne Finken's determination to have her music heard meant giving up her apartment to raise money for studio time. She and her son led a nomadic life for nearly a year while her debut, “Soul on Display”, was in session. Maybe more artists should be so bold. Cultivating years of influences from rock, R&B, and funk, Finken’s music unveils e...
35. 2009 things…
…on my list
humor - general
12.29.08 : feature column!

I plan on saving at least $2,009 in every quarter next year, by the grace of my employment and the economy. I hope to reduce my dropping of the f-bomb by 2,009 utterances. Not that I say it 2,009 times now. However, there’s a slight possibility I do. I will remove 2,009 pieces of clutter from my home. Let’s start with the stacks of magazines: 1) to be read; b) read, but with pages flagged; 3a) picked up on some trip fully intending to be read but gathering dust under my desk. I want to compl...
36. pundit audit
a day in the life, examined
news - discussion
11.26.08 : feature column!

(Alarm goes off, and Tracey Kelley hits the snooze button for seven minutes.) SOMEONE SIMILAR TO ELISABETH HASSLEBECK: The fact that Tracey won’t get out of bed immediately when the alarm goes off is an example of her lackadaisical attitude. SOMEONE SIMILAR TO JOHN KING: I wouldn’t say lackadaisical, necessarily, but it doesn’t show initiative. SOME MYSTERIOUS PROFESSOR REFERRED TO AS PUN 3: I think by waking up gradually to a slightly progressive music station, she’s wrapping up her final dre...
37. obama is muslin!
headlines, replay
humor - discussion
10.29.08 : feature column!

It’s the Wednesday before the 2008 Presidential Election. The American election process. Otherwise known as “What Dude Would You Rather Have a Beer With? The Public (Well, Sorta) Decides.” You’re dry-heaving-into-a-plastic-bucket sick of the glaring headlines. OBAMA SPENDS MORE MONEY ON CAMPAIGNING THAN THE ENTIRE FEDERAL BUDGET OF FRANCE! JOHN MCCAIN PICKED SARAH PALIN AS V.P. RUNNING MATE! NO, REALLY! Nevertheless, rubbernecker that you are, you can’t help but gawk until you crash. So, ...
38. monkey me, monkey you
the serious matter of bad manners
general - criticism
9.29.08 : feature column!

The rabbi at the deli said, “You know what’s wrong with our world today? It’s all about me. Not you -- me. We’ve become too self-absorbed and we will suffer because of this.” I paid extra for a side of potato salad with my turkey and veggies on pumpernickel, but this insightful perspective was bechinam. There's real truth to his observation. Every day, I see examples of one-man-kind, not humankind. Few things spark my anger more quickly than someone berating a child in public, a...
39. it’s not easy being green
the honorable task of supporting the environment
humor - lifestyle
7.28.08 : feature column!

You’ll be happy to know this column was written on a computer powered by my foot pedal electricity generator, while I drank water from my backyard artesian well. This room, like all in the house, benefits from the soft lighting of thousands of humanly-raised fireflies. I have a poster featuring the shadowed image of Ed Begley, Jr., crafted out of toothpicks salvaged from the finest wastebaskets this side of the Mississippi. Toothpick art is the newly-devised “Parallels in Progress” made work p...
40. make a choice, not a child
open letter to teenage girls
news - discussion
6.30.08 : feature column!

To every teenage girl: I’m not your mother, your grandmother, an aunt, a teacher, or your boyfriend’s stepmom. You don’t know me, so you might be surprised that I care about your future and well-being. There’s a whole lotta hoopla surrounding you right now. Because of the rumors of a teen pregnancy pact. Because even with all the information and assistance available, teen pregnancy rates have gone up. Because of the constant debate over teaching simply abstinence as sex education or combini...
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RAVES

re: guns don't kill people....

A flawless piece written in record time. Awesome!

re: god for president 2012

Damn straight.

re: god for president 2012

I vote you to be God's next press secretary. Just sayin'.

re: god for president 2012

Awe.some.

re: irrussistible

Just an incredible job capturing what Russ was about. Thank you.

re: irrussistible

Russ is smiling!

re: irrussistible

A beautiful tribute to a wonderful man gone too soon. Thank you so much for writing and sharing with us.

re: irrussistible

Not really sure that a critique here is necessary. Nice job.

re: irrussistible

Lovely. Absolutely lovely.


re: tune out to tune in

Very thought provoking and well argued, but I'm not sure this CNN junkie can break the addiction. I know I -do- feel better when I take a break from current events but can't seem to resist.


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