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THE EMPIRE OF SIGBJØRN:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY SIGBJØRN LUND OLSEN

1 to 10 of 12 columns
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1. the last loaf
a moment of postmodern being
writing - sample
12.11.04

The house is empty. There’s a fly buzzing around the ceiling light, annoying me. I turn the telly on. Coronation Street. It’s trash but that’s what it’s supposed to be, so I leave it on and walk back into the kitchen to make a sandwich. The loaf's blue and white plastic packaging has a big, gaping hole in it, placed exactly where my patience gave in. I grab a plate from the rack and then four slices of bread from the bag... The fridge door yields a little too quickly, and the sound it makes as...
2. the first circle
feeling small
writing - general
3.31.03 : feature column!

It feels the pull. It feels the pressure. It feels the friction. Silently... screamlessly it rolls down, mutilated by its surrounding. That singular drop of sweat on her smooth skin feels the forces, but is ignorant of its fate. She’s running past the eternal trees of a chaotically coherent forest. It can behold the walls of Socrates’ cave. Logic’s touch of irony - it can’t see them. He shifts restlessly through the room, feeling the walls, searching for a notch. Or a handle. Something. He does...
3. building bridges
the united states... and europe
news - general
4.26.02 : feature column!

After the eight-year War of Independence, Britain recognized the independence of thirteen colonies in 1783. The main challenge faced by the Americans at the time was as easy to state as it was difficult to overcome: they were thirteen independent entities. Avoiding the loss of their newly-won independence when surrounded by Spanish and British colonies (the latter being extremely hostile) and being thrown about by the turbulent whims of European power play required a great deal of resilience fro...
4. press button - insert coin
i lost my formatting
writing - sample
3.2.02

I have met my brother again, and even now, after having lived with him over some time, I still cannot comprehend the chaotic discourses of his mind. His home is very much like that which we lived in when we were children. He derives from the same origin as me, I can see evidence of that everywhere. Just like at my home, his door is always open, through all day and all night, always inviting and hospitable. He greeted me in his garden when I first came. “This is a bad day to come to me, my brot...
5. mcwhale
run, moby, run
general - discussion
2.18.02 : feature column!

Whaling is coming back. Japan and my own country, Norway, are currently aggressively pursuing lifting the international ban on whaling. Both nations are still whaling, the latter doesn’t even try to apply the thin disguise of it being ’scientific’ like Japan does. Should the ban be lifted, it would have a terrible impact on a population of animals that has been exploited for decades, and which is also notably slow to recover, due to the life cycle of whales. Commercial whaling has simply never...
6. musik non stop
scales and notes from a tired viking
general - lifestyle
11.23.01 : feature column!

It's a quarter past midnight, and I sigh and say: "Tomorrow I am going to explain to Asbjørn why it is vitally important that I don't hand in my overdue physics homework." I'm dead tired. I have now stayed two months at Atlantic College (the one in Wales, not the one in the US - they are quite considerably different) and I am almost ready to give up. There is just too much. What can I say? It's difficult. I come from a background where I didn't have to do jack shit to get anywhere in school. Ap...
7. do you believe in magic?
killing the message while sparing the messenger
general - discussion
10.10.01 : feature column!

Of all the days I have lived and will live, I already know that I will vividly remember the 11th of September. On a global level, we all will remember that day as the day when four aeroplanes were hijacked in the United States and then subsequently used to ram the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York, the Pentagon in Washington D.C. and, well, the ground in Pennsylvania. On a personal level, it was the day when I found my way to Cardiff to buy a duvet and a pillow, and the day when ...
8. the podiatric tales
madame's heels are designed to do damage
general - appreciation
7.30.01 : feature column!

How much do you think about what you put on your feet every day? I'll put a wager on answers similar to "Not much". That'd certainly be what I'd answer my question with. Frankly, I could hardly care less about what I put on my feet, as long as it keeps them warm and safe. I suppose one could call this another example of the interconnectedness of everything, but I just happened to receive this mail only two hours before I totaled my wonderful and trusty pair of Nike Air sneakers: Walker, shame...
9. con artists
do you want to be my lover?
pop culture - criticism
5.29.01 : feature column!

No, Joe. I don't care what you want, it isn't going to happen. I won't have you. You can't be my lover. Ever. Being my lover isn't going to save you when I rule the world. Considering what happened to all of Darth Vader's admirals, you might even say that it would be a bad career path, assuming you're not suicidal. Besides, if you want to be my lover, you'd have to get with my friends, and make it last forever. *cough* If any reader can't guess where we're heading now, then I envy you. Be...
10. mad man disease
the next european farming catastrophe
general - criticism
4.21.01 : feature column!

On the 14th of March at 16:00 (4:00 pm) the Norwegian government closed the borders for animal meat, live animals, and dairy products, following the outbreak of foot and mouth disease in the United Kingdom and, more recently, in the European Union. Looking at this recent ecological catastrophe and the string of others that have occured in European farming, one must begin to wonder, who the hell do we think we are when we challenge the way nature works? Deities Humanity, in general, has a...
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RAVES

re: the first circle

This is the Intrepid Planet. We enjoy your stay and miss you when you are away. Visit often.

re: building bridges

Thank you for bringing such a fresh and unique perspective to this medium. Your talent still scares me.

re: building bridges

An excellent viewpoint, very well stated. I think this ranks as one of your best.

re: building bridges

A little poli-babble, but not too much. Interesting theory, and definitely well-founded arguments.

re: building bridges

I'm giving you a 4 instead of 5 because it read too much like a dissertation for my taste. Granted, it was peppered well with Sigbjørn-isms, but still a bit on the dry side.

re: press button - insert coin

Very well written. I'm often jealous that I cannot write in this vein. Good imagery, dialogue, use of the language.

re: press button - insert coin

see below

re: press button - insert coin

Is it fact or fiction? To ponder that is the best thing about the piece.

re: press button - insert coin

You have a talent for science fiction. Reading this automatically brings to mind Huxley for some reason. I would suggest you develop this into a short story, as it seems to be headed that way.

re: mcwhale

I feel so, so, educated now after reading this. Thanks for adding another dimension to Intrepid!

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