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THE EMPIRE OF HEATHER:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY HEATHER M. MILLEN

1 to 10 of 42 columns
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1. constant craving
*the secret* to success
humor - lifestyle
8.27.08 : feature column!

The other day I was sitting at my desk. It was about 4:00 in the afternoon, the day had been a bit stressful and I was greatly in need of a tiny token of relief. Suddenly, I realized that all my soul craved was a cookie. I don't eat cookies very often but who am I to judge what my soul desires? My husband happened to call and I said aloud and with conviction: "I really want a cookie." Ask. Cookies are good. I used to make cookies with my grandmother. She made these amazing little thumbp...
2. who moved my chi?
finding my way back to inner peace
general - improvement
4.23.08 : feature column!

I'm an incredibly organized person. I keep an "Infamous To Do List" that is updated daily and nothing gives me greater pleasure than checking off items. I like clean surfaces and carefully arranged closets. Clothes belong in a chest of drawers, not the floor of my bedroom. I have boxes and drawers and baskets, all to better organize my life... and my husband's life if he would only listen to me and STOP LEAVING ALL THAT CRAP ON THE DESK! When something is lost in the house, it's inevitably ...
3. polishing up the ball and chain
do you have this in designer?
general - lifestyle
8.29.07 : feature column!

When I started writing for Intrepid Media, I really used it as an outlet to air out all my dirty laundry regarding relationships, life as a single gal in the city, conquests and heartbreaks. And now I write to you just two weeks short of my nuptials, something I've mocked endlessly on these very pages (if you do your research). Ah well, tis the circle of life I guess. Now as each circle comes around, I'm wondering if we forget entirely what the last pass was like. The other day, I was wat...
4. a diamond in the rough
the rules of engagement
general - appreciation
4.27.07 : feature column!

When I announced my engagement in September of 2006, I had many visions of what the following year would entail. What I pictured was an endless year of one champagne-drenched celebration after another, all held in my honor. Red carpets rolled out at any available opportunity! And, heck, I didn't even necessarily need parties thrown for me, I'd create them wherever I went, celebrating the engagement until it was no more. I'd have to invest in a tractor trailer to haul all of my fabulous new p...
5. love at first write
an intrepid love story
writing - lifestyle
9.4.06 : feature column!

Intrepid Media has been a part of my life for a good five years now. In February of 2001, it saw me through my hardest breakup to date. It was along for the ride when I spent several years in LA swearing off all Mr. Rights and having a fabulous time with more than a few Mr. Right Nows. And when I swooped myself off to Vegas in a faux-wedding just for kicks, Intrepid was there to throw the proverbial rice. Overall, I've had an Intrepid lovelife. Not just because the Intrepid Media family has been...
6. shiny, happy, celebreality
embracing our celeb-obsessed culture
pop culture - discussion
7.26.06 : feature column!

This weekend, I attended a wedding. It was a wedding of a childhood friend of mine, a young lad that I spent many an afternoon with growing up. He was always getting into crazy, yet completely wholesome, hijinx with his five brothers and sisters. It was a hybrid family. See, there was this one day when the lady met this fellow, and they knew that it was much more than a hunch. That this group, must somehow form a family... Yes, the friend I am referring to is Peter Brady... or to those in t...
7. the heathers
four shades of me
writing - appreciation
6.26.06 : feature column!

When I was younger, my favorite movie was "Heathers." Maybe it's because I secretly needed my Brenda Walsh fix long before there was a Brenda Walsh. Or maybe, somewhere underneath my JV cheerleading uniform and newspaper editor cap, I was a bit high-school-dark-comedy-evil myself. Teenage suicide? Don't do it. But truth be known, I think I mainly liked it because the title was my name... plural. And despite the fact that half of the American females born between 1977-1980 were named Heather, I ...
8. stage beauty
my life with the ghost light
general - career
5.5.06 : feature column!

When I was eleven, my fifth grade class presented a reinterpreted staging of "Cinderella." The story had the usual bells and whistles, evil stepsisters and a Fairy Godmother. But this production took place in a town called Pollution. A town that was ruled by a wasteful and frivolous prince (he only wore his crowns once and he didn't RECYCLE!) ...Gotta love the "Oh-shit-we're-screwing-up-the-universe" '80s. At any rate, to win one of the two coveted leading roles, our teacher came up with some t...
9. kindergarten cop-out
i don't want to be a grown-up, i'm a princess
general - lifestyle
2.24.06 : feature column!

I'm five years old and standing just inside the door to our second-floor apartment. My hair is pulled back neatly in two red barrettes and it flips up at the shoulder. I'm wearing a new dress, blue and white checked with a red button-up collar, and my bobby-socked feet stand proudly in my new Mary Janes. I'm holding a small yellow lunchbox with a picture of a bus on it. The lunchbox is smaller than a standard-size lunchbox and the inside always smells of bananas though I cannot recall a sing...
10. the haunting hours
halloween movie madness
film - lifestyle
10.26.05 : feature column!

I do not watch scary movies. Perhaps it stems from one of two clear memories of my childhood: When I was in first grade, my sister offered to take me to the movies. This was an unprecedented move by my sister, six years my elder. I should have been suspicious, but I was ecstatic. I can't quite recall what movie we were supposedly going to see -- I believe it was Gremlins -- but it was on this precedent that we were given permission from our parents. However, when we arrived at the theat...
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RAVES

re: constant craving

Bee-yoo-tee-ful.

re: constant craving

you are SO perfect, and I love this column. sweet, satisfying and with no lasting ill effects. other than the fact that I, too, want a fucking cookie.

re: who moved my chi?

Concepts I really hadn't thought to think about. Thanks.

re: a diamond in the rough

Beautiful and poignant.

re: a diamond in the rough

Thats a great column.

re: love at first write

Wonderful!

re: the heathers

Appropriately dramatic, poetic and just an itsey bitsy bit cute!

re: stage beauty

A lovely homage to the theatre.

re: stage beauty

Good read.

re: the haunting hours

I don't watch them either.

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