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THE EMPIRE OF JACK:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY JACK BRADLEY

1 to 10 of 16 columns
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1. what have you done for me lately?
news - sample
9.16.02 : feature column!

"Declined." It was the word that changed everything…the word that I had to accept if I was going to understand what had happened to me. "Declined." Such a final word. An insulting word. A demeaning word. It dismisses you without argument, laughing at your self-worth and pointing out your inadequacies. "Declined." The word sent me into immediate denial. "Try it again," I coaxed. Beryl was her name. "Try it again, Beryl," I said with a cheerful smile. Some irrational part of my brain argued t...
2. no laughing matter
they don't call them fright wigs for nothing
humor - lifestyle
3.13.02 : feature column!

This column is a revelation of something that until now, not many folks knew about me. My mother doesn’t know it and most of my friends are oblivious… but I think my sister suspects. She hasn’t mentioned it, though. Only a few close friends who have somehow needed to know are in on the secret. It’s something that I’m reluctant to discuss, even in this enlightened age… but here I go. (Brace yourself, Mom.) I am afraid of clowns. (Well…what did you think I was going to say?) It’s a more common...
3. value
having enough for what you need to have
general - appreciation
2.22.02 : feature column!

I have a friend named Sammy who wants to visit Australia. Actually, Sammy wants to a lot of things, he’s a very ambitious sort. He’s frequently discussing his desire to get a new or better job (he calls himself “under-employed”) or to move to a bigger city where there are more opportunities. He has one of those quick, sharp minds that seem to do well when they have the stimulus of a busy environment and to develop bad habits when they are left stranded without that stimulus. He also wants to do ...
4. how?
one reaction
general - discussion
9.17.01 : feature column!

It's 4:55am in Sydney, and I've been up all night. It’s September 12 (Australian time), the day that the war started. I had gone to bed at around 10.00pm exhausted, and the phone woke me up at 1am. That’s never a good feeling, as it usually means that something is wrong. This time, it was a friend from London calling to ask me for a mutual friend's phone number in NY. I growled at him to look at what time it was...and he said "Oh, my god. You don't know, do you?" I was instantly awake. Moments...
5. anniversary
a peek inside the sausage factory
humor - career
5.19.01 : feature column!

It was going to be just another Thursday at the offices of Intrepid Media, or so I thought. I dragged my sleepy ass out of bed, showered, and met my limo driver out front. “Good day, Sir,” murmured Alfred. He knows how grumpy I can be in the mornings, so he keeps things understated. Without another word, he passed me the morning papers as I climbed in the back of the stretch job that Jael/Joe makes us all take to work. “We have to think big if we’re going to BE big!” Joe/Jael enthused at last ...
6. break with tradition
a tale of travel and teenagers
humor - lifestyle
4.23.01 : feature column!

“Anyone have a good spring break story?” my friend Marty asked. Her 17-year-old son was leaving for Spring Break, and she was wondering whether or not to be worried. “I do,” I answered. “But I can’t tell you all of it. I don't think the statute of limitations has expired for at least two parts of the tale.” She didn’t look relieved by my comment, so I decided to tell her about it to put her mind at ease. After all, my story is set many years ago…back when Spring Break didn’t mean that you ...
7. culture shock, take two
big-ass arachnophobia? she'll be right, mate.
general - lifestyle
3.23.01 : feature column!

It’s not the animals. It’s me. About a year ago, I wrote a column called Culture Shock about my first few weeks in Australia. As an American, certain things came as a bit of a surprise to me. Huge fruit bats in my garden for instance…and equally huge bugs. I received a lot of mail over my description of “the spider dance” last year. (You know what I’m talking about… you pick up the broom while trying to whisk the monster spider down the drain or out the door, only to realize that he’s gone. Go...
8. it ain't no day at the beach
and you thought sand in your shorts was bad
humor - lifestyle
1.26.01 : feature column!

Yanno…the Australian people can best be characterized as brave and resourceful. At least, that’s what I’d like to think. It's nicer than the alternative. However, "brave and resourceful" is quickly losing ground to "daring and foolish." Now, before my Australian friends start to get their knickers in a bunch…let me add this: I’m including myself in that lot. You see, I am now a seasoned veteran of one of the most dangerous pastimes known in the modern world. I went to an Australian beach. I ...
9. vindaloo before bedtime
the utter jungle of imagination
writing - general
11.20.00 : feature column!

Okay, first you have to picture this: A fantastic scarlet bird with a crest. It’s about the size of a pigeon, and its feathers are iridescent with other colors when it moves. It’s sitting on the edge of a huge glass jar. Around this jar, arranged like a nest or the petals of a huge flower, are pieces of glass. Each one looks as though it were broken from a frosted globe, jaggedly. The jar sits in the middle, with the crested red bird perched on the edge…watching you. Inside the jar are the n...
10. epilogue
fond, fond memories
general - appreciation
10.20.00 : feature column!

Due to conditions beyond my control, I just spent almost 7 months away from my dog. She lived in the United States, awaiting her permission from the Australian government to come live with me. It wasn’t easy, and I think that her return to me has inspired what you are about to read…because, quite honestly, it surprised me when it came out of my head today. This column is about my previous dog. I still think often of her, but not always with sadness or grief. Today I decided to let some of wha...
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RAVES

re: what have you done for me lately?

I can't stop laughing. And I think because now I know you, I'm laughing even more.

re: what have you done for me lately?

These just keep getting funnier and funnier. Well, the funny ones, at least.

re: what have you done for me lately?

Excellent! $40 and a dream! I've got to get to Australia.

re: what have you done for me lately?

Clever and engaging and witty. Just like you!

re: no laughing matter

As always, with Jack's writing, this is a keeper!

re: no laughing matter

I laughed a lot at the contridiction of this story and your bio. Perhaps that explains your fear. Maybe...just perhaps....

re: no laughing matter

I can't say I understand the phobia, but, apparently neither can you. Doesn't in the least detract from the column.

re: no laughing matter

Okay Jack, that 'splains why you hang out with this group...aversion therapy reversed.

re: no laughing matter

Scared of clowns or not, that f***ing rocked, Jack.

re: no laughing matter

i think you're great.. you really have a way of not just telling things.. but "showing" things..

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