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THE EMPIRE OF MICHAEL:     HOME  :  ALL COLUMNS

ALL COLUMNS BY MICHAEL D. DRISCOLL

1 to 10 of 35 columns
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1. the status is not quo
what's on our minds
pop culture - discussion
12.21.09 : feature column!

There is no better example of a perfect love/hate relationship than people and status updates. We are undeniably addicted to knowing the goings-on of friends and family, and yet when we come across a status update we disagree with we complain that people are providing too much information too often. Love. Hate. These micro-publishings of thoughts, feelings and actions are changing our conversations. Recently a friend shortened our conversation by saying, "I'll stop talking. You should tota...
2. the impossible task of answering a wrong question
becoming more adult-y
general - lifestyle
10.14.09 : feature column!

I've been answering the wrong question for a long, long time. I thought I knew the answer. I had several answers along the way. I continued to answer the same question, again and again until it dawned on me that I’m officially too old to ask, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” because I am, by definition, a grown-up. Crap. Double crap. So it seems for more than 20 years I’ve asked myself a question that now appears delusional, suggesting that I’m not a grown-up until I know what I want...
3. decoding destiny: part two
what happens when you know?
pop culture - lifestyle
7.13.09 : feature column!

38 days after my spit sample was sent for DNA analysis I received an email with the subject line "Your Genetic Profile is Ready at 23andMe!" After years of wondering what I'm made of the answers were just a few clicks away. Would I see my medical future? Being the first person in my family to go through genetic testing would I find a hidden disease we all share? And even though I know there is no question of who my parents are, would I find something to the contrary? Click Click Wow Like re...
4. decoding destiny
knowing does not change what is
tech - lifestyle
6.12.09 : feature column!

When I announced to my friends and family I was starting my genetic journey to decode my DNA the best response I got was, “That’s amazing…for you…and all…that…wow” followed by “...but I don’t think I’d want to know mine. TMI TMI!” By that time I had the advantage of working through the quandaries of the opportunity, as one should, with the final result summed up in these words: knowing does not change what is. Whatever my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and so on up the tree unlea...
5. what if struggling newspapers went non-profit?
an idea worth printing
pop culture - general
5.13.09 : feature column!

There is a certain irony when professionals of the Internet industry, the ones who worked diligently to create and meet the online demand for companion sites to printed newspapers, are now finding themselves huddled in conference rooms across the globe trying to fix the problem they created. And I am no exception. When newspapers moved to the online space it was heaven. No more inky fingers. No more guilt when the heavy Sunday paper went into the trash instead of the recycle bin. No more men s...
6. 10 things i don’t understand
in the asking we find the answer
pop culture - criticism
2.19.07 : feature column!

The world is filled with things I do not understand: molecular physics, aviation engineering, the Bee Gees, fructose. These require too much personal investigation and attention, leaving me to trust that someone, somewhere will focus on them so I don’t have to. For example: 1) I read an article where Angelina Jolie was quoted as saying there is no reason for her to marry Brad Pitt because they “are married to their children.” How is it possible for an intimate relationship to be successful ...
7. tell me something
looking back to move forward
general - discussion
12.18.06 : feature column!

Since my return to Intrepid Media after an almost two year absence I’ve been able to crank out some of the most off-the-wall articles. I’ve shown you how a little Jesus talk during Shabbat can get ugly, I’ve written an entire article as an instant message, I’ve taken you through the pain of remembering a life taken too early and even channeled Paris Hilton’s hair only to shed it all over your favorite black outfit. Since this is my last article for 2006, I want to try something different...
8. thank you for not calling
if these automated customer service lines could talk
pop culture - criticism
11.15.06 : feature column!

Thank you for calling customer service. Your call is only important to you. For English, please allow us to penalize you by making you press 1. Para español, oprima el numero dos y good-o luck-o getting-o our-o uno-o Spanish-o person-o. For Rotary-dial callers please hang up. I’m sorry. When you press 0 it pisses us off and we have to pretend to accidentally disconnect you after finally reaching a representative that was hired and trained moments before you picked up the phone. Again, ...
9. an open letter to paris hilton
from hair to eternity
humor - criticism
10.20.06 : feature column!

Hey Bitch, It’s me, your hair. I know what you must be thinking. This is HOT. It is. Seriously, not even Nicole gets letters from her body (obviously). That’s because you’re different -- we’re different -- and if you read this entire letter I’ll stay out of your good eye for a while. I’ve been preoccupied lately. I keep thinking about things like...who was Elvis without his hips, Marilyn without her legs and Pee Wee without his hand? Hello! Before they all died they were just people who re...
10. war on the united states of me
making a mountain out of a mole
humor - lifestyle
8.25.06 : feature column!

I was draped in a large Brawny towel with nothing but my boxers on when the guy came at me with a wet needle, a razor and a serious look on his face. I told him I wasn’t going to watch, he laughed. I had been lying on my back, feet out in front of me, when the needle went under my skin forming a perfect bubble lump under the first piece of my body to leave me through unnatural causes. That was the last thing I saw before closing my eyes. Skin cells and hair jump off me every day in their quiet...
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RAVES

re: the status is not quo

I would have liked to see it a little longer, a little more detail or examples in your status types, but the tone was good and you struck just the right amount of topicalamity.

re: the status is not quo

Michael, thank you for this clever reminder that we have the choice over hitting "Publish," "Send," and/or "Delete." I really like the term "micro-publishings", the personal examples you give, and, of course, the various types of Statee. At some point, someone is going to catch on to this phenom and research it. Until then, we have your words. Keep writing, Michael. Your audience is eagerly waiting.

re: the status is not quo

It had to be said sooner or later. Thanks.

re: the impossible task of answering a wrong question

The unexamined life etc and so forth.

re: decoding destiny: part two

Glorious!

re: decoding destiny

Good for you!

re: 10 things i don’t understand

Hilarious, and a great read that anyone with their head screwed on the way yours and mine are would agree with and relate to.

re: 10 things i don’t understand

Incredibly thought-provoking format and ideas, as usual. I haven't been able to be around IM much, but this is why I love it. --Gonz (anonymity is over-rated!)

re: 10 things i don’t understand

At some level and at some time we're all confused.

re: tell me something

Interesting.

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